Scrubs (TV Series)

My Brother, Where Art Thou? (2003)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• Dan : [as Dr. Cox leaves at the end of his shift, J.D.'s brother Dan is waiting for him outside the hospital entrance]  Hey, Dr. Cox.

  Dr. Cox : Oh, here I'd been told you left. It made me happy.

  Dan : You don't like me. People don't like me. You know why? I'm a screw-up. Always have been.

  [laughs] 

  Dan : Ever since we were kids, my mom always made me walk Johnny to school first day every year, and every year, I'd walk him to the wrong school...

  [laughs] 

  Dan : ...just 'cause.

  Dr. Cox : Boy, that's a great story, really. And I'm sure you're just a horrible big brother...

  Dan : [smiles in mock humility]  Well...

  Dr. Cox : ...but I'm afraid you have me confused with somebody who gives a crap. And it's okay, you don't need to be embarrassed. Turns out it happens all the time. For instance, my father actually made the same mistake on his deathbed.

  Dan : Hey, listen, Dr. Cox, no offense, I'm a big fan of the tough guy act, but let me tell you what I really think. I think you LOVE the fact that these kids idolize you. Johnny does! Johnny was always the one in the family we KNEW was going someplace. Sweet kid. Smart kid. Becoming a doctor? This is ALL he ever wanted, and yet, somehow, you've found a way to beat that out of him, haven't you? Turn him into some kind of cynical guy who seems to despise what he does. Dr. Cox, Johnny is never gonna look up to me. Ever. But he hangs on your every word. So I'm askin' - I'm tellin' you: take that responsibility seriously, stop being such a hard-ass. Otherwise, you're gonna have to answer to me.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [narrating]  Love can give you strength you never knew you had.

  Dan : [holds out his hand to Cox]  It's good seeing you, Dr. Cox.

  Dr. Cox : [takes Dan's hand and shakes it]  Good to see you, Dan. All the best.

  [walks away] 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Doctor Cox, Dan was wondering if he could trail with us today.

  Dr. Cox : Good God in heaven, Newbie. There are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never. Not in a million years. Absolutely not. No way, Jose. No chance, Lance. Nyet. Negatori. Mm-mm. Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. And of course, my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff. Noooooooooo!

• Dan : Yeah but these are living, breathing people here...

  Dr. Cox : I'm sorry, what is it you do again?

  Dan : I'm a bartender.

  Dr. Cox : Well, Dan, I'm gonna go ahead and worry about how we do things around here. But if I ever need to make a top notch rum and coke, well, by golly, mister, you better be right by the phone cause I might just give you a jingle.

  [Dr. Cox begins to walk away] 

  Dr. Cox : [makes a ringing noise]  Dan, Cox-a-roony, regarding the rum and coke issue... could not be more confused...

• Dr. Cox : Newbie! Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [ashamed]  Yes...

  Dr. Cox : I've never felt closer to you.