Scrubs (TV Series)
His Story II (2004)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Quotes
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Hey, Laverne. What'd you give me if I get this jelly bean into your cleavage?
Nurse Laverne Roberts : A concussion.
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Bratty Kid : Why are your pants tight? Clowns are supposed to wear pants that are baggy.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Because, Brad, I'm the kind of clown that likes to wear tight pants.
Bratty Kid : The other clown wears baggy pants
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : What other clown?
The Janitor : [Children point to where Janitor is standing] Hello, old friend.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Janitor.
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Lonnie : Mr Miller passed away and I thought that since I'm kind of new of this, you could notify his family.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : What, you steal my research project and now you want me to do your dirty work?
Lonnie : Dr Cox said if you said that to say that's right, Melinda.
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : I think what angry disturbed clown is trying to teach us is it's never okay to push other people over.
The Janitor : [Pushes J.D over as all the children laugh]
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Position one, two or three?
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : We only had two positions.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh. Well, I've got something to show you later.
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Elliot : Guys! Three long years of busting my hump at this place and it has finally paid off!
J.D. : You got the fellowship?
Elliot : No! I get to be the clown in Pediatrics!
Carla : Heeeey! That old clown was really good. So, uh, you got some really big shoes to fill!
[she laughs, but everyone else just looks at her blankly]
Carla : Dammit, I'm funny!
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Hey, research buddy!
Dr. Perry Cox : We're four seconds in and I'm already regretting my decision.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : [J.D. slaps the bell on the desk] Things Jordan says during sex! Ha!
Dr. Perry Cox : Are those the charts I wanted?
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Noooo. They're the charts you wanted, plus! Patient history charts from the last ten years, which yours truly stayed up all night organizing not only chronologically but by severity of condition.
[He attempts to set the stack on the desk, but the files spill all over the floor]
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : There's a good chance I'm gonna kill someone.
Dr. Perry Cox : [Dr. Cox dings the bell] Things you say when you talk to your patients.
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : [after JD and Elliot hook up] Look, Elliot, I don't want to jinx this, but, how did that just happen?
Dr. Elliot Reid : You were a clown for me. You were there when I needed you without me even having to ask.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian , Dr. Elliot Reid : [They lean for a kiss, but are interrupted by Sean opening the door] Sean?
Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, my God! When did you get back from New Zealand?
Sean Kelly : Something in your voice told me that you needed me. So I just... I decided to show up, even though you didn't even ask.