- Mary Gross: According to information provided by Voyager II's recent exploratory trip to Saturn, the mysterious ringed planet has an atmosphere of solid ammonia. This is lucky for Saturn, say scientists, because the surface of the planet is solid linoleum.
- George Kennedy: Alright! Alright, alright! Cut the crap! Cut the crap! We got twenty million people out there watching, and I'm gonna redline this sucker! Let's go!
- Ms. Luke: [curious about the big ugly scar on Jake's face] Jake, how did it happen?
- Jake the Hired Hand: Well, a long story, Ms. Luke. Started when my momma got scalped by the Chipamunk Injuns. See, the captured me and they raised me as a Chipamunk. Well, I'll tell ya, we were out one day, we got bushwacked by a bunch of wild Mexicans! Huh, yeah... they raised me as a Mexican. Well, I was gettin' on to be about 35 by then, so I thought I'd make out my own road. I didn't get more than 5 yards when I got captured by a pack of wild wolves, who insisted on raising me. Huh! Well, they passed me on to a group of coyotes, and then they raised me.
- Ms. Luke: All right, Jake, but how did you get the scar?
- Jake the Hired Hand: Ah, I cut myself shavin'.