- Chet Harper: [presenting Access Hollywood] Dick Van Dyke held a press conference today to announce that he is a robot.
- Chet Harper: [wrapping up Access Hollywood] Tune in tomorrow, we'll find out: will Colin get fudged or box office sludge? Will Russell cry 'boo-hoo', or 'I love you, Kangeroo'? And with Ben a no-show, will J-Lo lose her mojo and go nutzo at a HoJo, order jello and show us that sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet pooper? Good night, America!