Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

First Kiss (1997)

Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman

Quotes 

• Sabrina Spellman : [Looking at a photography book]  Isn't Annie Leibovitz cool? She knows everybody.

  Harvey Kinkle : Oh, look at this one! Whoopi Goldberg in a bathtub of milk! I wonder if they warmed it before she got in?

  Sabrina Spellman : I'm sure. She's a star!

• Sabrina Spellman : [Sabrina has to avoid kissing Harvey or he will turn into a frog]  Well, that was fun. Best time two friends could have! Ha. Well, nothing left to say, so good night and Godspeed!

• Game Show Host : Please welcome Sabrina Spellman!

  [the audience applaud and Sabrina appears from behind the flower-decorated gold curtain wearing a pink dress and pink hair band] 

  Sabrina Spellman : What is this?

  Game Show Host : Part one of your test! It's the True Love Game! Sit down.

  [Sabrina takes a seat] 

  Game Show Host : Would you like to meet your three Harveys?

  Sabrina Spellman : Harveys? I *like* this game!

  Game Show Host : [to the three Harveys sitting on stools around a sight-proof screen]  Gentleman, let's give your best hellos to Sabrina!

  Harvey #1 : [nervously]  H-h-hey Sabrina!

  Harvey #2 : [classy]  Hey Sabrina!

  Harvey #3 : [friendly greeting]  Hey Sabrina!

  Sabrina Spellman : Hi Harveys!

  Game Show Host : How well do you know the person you *think* you're in love with? Let's find out and here are the questions.

  [the Game Show Host gives Sabrina question cards] 

  Sabrina Spellman : All right. Um... this question is for Harvey number 2: If I were a Princess trapped in a tower, how would you rescue me?

  Harvey #2 : [classy]  Well, the thought of you makes me walk on air so I'd float right up and whisk you away.

  Sabrina Spellman : That's sweet. And Harvey number one, what would you do?

  Harvey #1 : [looks confused]  Blow up the tower.

  [the audience chuckle] 

  Sabrina Spellman : OK. Um... this question's for Harvey number 3: Describe Harvey number one's best and worst feature.

  Harvey #3 : Well he has really nice sideburns.

  Harvey #1 : Thanks man. You too.

  Harvey #2 : Hey! What about me?

  Harvey #1 : They're OK.

  Game Show Host : Come on guys. Let's just go on please.

  Sabrina Spellman : OK. This question is for all of you: What'd your favourite type of triangle?

  [to the Game Show Host] 

  Sabrina Spellman : These questions don't tell me anything!

  Game Show Host : [smartly]  Nobody said the test would be easy.

  Sabrina Spellman : Harvey number one, your triangle?

  Harvey #1 : Obtuse.

  Sabrina Spellman : And why?

  Harvey #1 : [confused]  I don't know.

  Sabrina Spellman : Harvey number two?

  Harvey #2 : [classy]  Scalene. Definitely scalene.

  Sabrina Spellman : And Harvey number three, what's your favourite kind of triangle?

  Harvey #3 : [keen]  Equilateral. I like that isometrical.

  Sabrina Spellman : [excitedly jumps up]  That's him! That's my Harvey! Harvey number three!

  [Harvey #1 and #2 look disappointed as Harvey #3 looks pleased] 

  Game Show Host : That's right Sabrina! And you passed Part one!

  Sabrina Spellman : Woo-hoo!

• [Sabrina has passed the first True Love test] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [excitedly exits door #1]  Yes!

  Zelda Spellman : [hugs Sabrina]  Congratulations!

  Hilda Spellman : [high fives Sabrina]  Way to go!

  Drell : Well, you passed the test of friendship. True love *can't exist* without friendship.

• Sabrina Spellman : [on a deckchair by a swimming pool]  Hello? Anybody? Is this a test for patience?

  Zak : [climbs out of the pool]  Hey.

  Sabrina Spellman : Hi.

  Zak : Uh, is anyone sitting here?

  Sabrina Spellman : No. Go ahead.

  Zak : [takes the towel and dries himself]  Great. I'm Zak. So, are you here to take the test?

  Sabrina Spellman : Yeah. I wish they'd hurry.

  Zak : [lies on the deckchair next to Sabrina's deckchair]  Ah, could be a while so you should just relax.

  [Zak stretches] 

  Zak : Sun feels good, huh?

  Sabrina Spellman : Yeah. It's kinda cool to lay by the pool in the middle of February.

• Sabrina Spellman : I'm pumped! What's next?

  Drell : [points to Door #2]  Ah, door number two.

  Sabrina Spellman : OK.

  [to the glass box containing Harvey as a frog] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Wish me luck, Harvey!

• Zak : Those sunglasses are great on you. You look like a blonde Audrey Hepburn.

  Sabrina Spellman : [amazed]  I love Audrey Hepburn! Which one of her movies is your favourite?

  Zak : Well I'd have to say "Sabrina". I just love the name.

  Sabrina Spellman : [removes her sunglasses]  You're kidding! That's *my* name!

  Zak : [interested]  Wow! Uh, so... Sabrina... are you hungry?

  Sabrina Spellman : I hadn't thought about it, but I guess maybe a little.

  Zak : How about a piece of delicious chocolate cake?

  [Zak points at the table and a slice of chocolate cake on a plate magically appears] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [turns to face the table]  Wow! It looks amazing!

  Zak : [turns to face the table at the same time as Sabrina]  Oh, it is.

  [Zak picks up the plate the chocolate cake slice is on and offers it to Sabrina] 

  Zak : Here, have a little bite.

  Sabrina Spellman : [as Zak takes a piece from the cake slice with a fork]  I dunno. I had a pretty big muffin earlier.

  Zak : [insisting]  Ah, come on! One little taste couldn't hurt.

  Sabrina Spellman : That's true.

  [Sabrina leans forward to taste the piece of chocolate cake] 

  Zak : You look really pretty tonight.

  Sabrina Spellman : [moves back]  Wait! You're trying to make me forget about Harvey, aren't you?

  Zak : Harvey? Who's Harvey?

  Sabrina Spellman : [realising what the test is]  Oh ho-ho! You're a sly one!

  [Sabrina gets up] 

  Sabrina Spellman : But I CAN'T eat cake when Harvey's in trouble!

  Zak : [gets up]  Yes you can!

  Sabrina Spellman : [getting angry]  No I can't!

  Zak : [harshly insisting]  EAT IT!

  Sabrina Spellman : [angry]  No!

  [a unseen bell dongs and an unseen audience cheers] 

  Zak : [disappointed]  That was the test. You passed.

  Sabrina Spellman : [excited]  I did? Woo-hoo!

  Zak : [offers the piece of cake]  How about one bite? To celebrate?

  Sabrina Spellman : [smartly]  What do you take me for?

• [Sabrina excitedly exits door #2 and her aunts embrace her] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [very happily]  I passed and I've got some colour in my cheeks!

  Drell : [proudly]  Nicely done! You passed the test of Fidelity.

  Zelda Spellman : You resisted temptation. Something that tests *every* relationship.

• Sabrina Spellman : [very concerned about taking the three True Love Tests]  Harvey's super cute and I really, really like him but... how am I supposed to know if it's true love?

  Salem Saberhagen : Well do you think about him when he's not around?

  Sabrina Spellman : [concerned]  Yeah.

  Zelda Spellman : [almost in wonder]  And does your heart beat faster when you see him walking down the hall?

  Sabrina Spellman : [concerned]  Yeah.

  Hilda Spellman : [quite cheerfully]  And does it bother you when he chews gum?

  Sabrina Spellman : [less concerned]  No.

  Hilda Spellman : [cheerfully]  Then it might be true love!

  [Sabrina stands up] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [confident]  I'm taking the test.

  [pauses] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [concerned]  Is it multiple-choice?

• [Sabrina enters the room and sees Salem sitting at an open laptop pressing the buttons with a pencil in his mouth] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Salem what are you doing?

  Salem Saberhagen : Nothing.

  Sabrina Spellman : [not convinced]  You're in a Chatroom again pretending to be a woman aren't you?

  [Sabrina takes the pencil out of Salem's mouth] 

  Salem Saberhagen : [still looking at the laptop]  I like the attention.

  Sabrina Spellman : [closes down the laptop and packs it away]  Well, say goodbye. Harvey's here and you'd better start acting cattier.

  Salem Saberhagen : [annoyed]  Mean.

• [Sabrina and her Aunts enter a beautifully decorated lounge-like Waiting Room] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Where are we?

  Hilda Spellman : [proudly]  The National Institute of Love!

  Zelda Spellman : [pleased]  Normally, it's very clinical, but they go all-out for Valentine's Day.

  [one at a time, Sabrina, Zelda and Hilda walk through an arch decorated with leaves, roses and doves. The arch beeps as they pass through and their clothes change to all red for Sabrina, pink and red for Zelda and white and red for Hilda] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Wow. They *really* take their colour scheme seriously.

• Sabrina Spellman : One more door and we're out of here.

  Drell : [collects a pamphlet and offers it to Sabrina]  Not so fast. The next test is really dangerous. Our insurance carrier requires you read this pamphlet.

  Sabrina Spellman : [takes the pamphlet and reads the cover]  "So You're Going To Be Frog"?

  Zelda Spellman : [comforting]  I'll go over it with you honey.

  [Zelda takes Sabrina aside, Hilda sits on a big sofa and Drell quickly moves next to the sofa's right arm rest] 

  Drell : [gladly]  What 'cha thinking?

  Hilda Spellman : You're asking *me*?

  Drell : [gladly]  Yeah!

  [Drell gets up and moves to the sofa's left arm rest] 

  Drell : Can't a... guy ask a girl what she's thinking?

  Hilda Spellman : I was just wondering... do you think our old flame is still burning?

  Drell : Well there's one way to find out.

  Hilda Spellman : You still have it?

  Drell : Yeah. No one bought it at the garage sale. It's over here.

  [Drell shows Hilda a heart-shaped cabinet with two gold horses with wings on its doors on a nearby table] 

  Hilda Spellman : [moves to the left side of the sofa]  You open it. I'm afraid to look.

  [Drell opens the doors one at a time, revealing a lit candle] 

  Drell : Yes! The old flame is still burning!

  Hilda Spellman : After all these years!

  Drell : You could warm *soup* over it!

  Hilda Spellman : Maybe what we had *was* special.

  [stands up] 

  Hilda Spellman : [proudly]  I'm gonna take the test of True Love!

  Drell : [stands up]  For me?

  Hilda Spellman : For us.

  Drell : [happily]  I'll be waiting!

  Hilda Spellman : [excited]  Maybe this could be the beginning of something wonderful!

  [Hilda runs over to Door #1] 

• [Drell is standing next to Door #1, but lightning flashes on the other side and Drell quickly moves away just before the door opens and Hilda exits the first True Love Test] 

  Drell : [quite surprised]  What? No canned applause?

  Hilda Spellman : Sorry.

  [Hilda blows out the candle in the heart-shaped cabinet and sits on the sofa. Drell is disappointed] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [gets up]  I finished the pamphlet.

  Drell : So you decided what kind of frog you wanna be?

  Sabrina Spellman : Yeah, I selected the Flying Tree Frog.

  Drell : Excellent choice. Then it's time for the last test, but this one isn't...

  [Drell looks at Hilda] 

  Drell : ...easy...

  [Drell turns to face Sabrina] 

  Drell : ...like the others.

  Zelda Spellman : [encouraging]  Good luck and don't be nervous.

  Sabrina Spellman : [nervously]  I'm not nervous! I mean, I know it's true love! So therefore I have no reason to be nervous!

  [Sabrina tries to open Door #3] 

  Drell : Ah push, don't pull. Push.

  [Sabrina nervously smiles as she opens Door #3 and enters the final Test of True Love] 

• [Sabrina appears as a black silhouette on one side of a fiery canyon at night] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [calls]  Hello? Is anybody here?

  Harvey Kinkle : [calls]  Sabrina?

  [Harvey appears as a black silhouette on another part of the canyon] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [calls]  Harvey! Where are you?

  Harvey Kinkle : [calls]  I'm not sure! It's dark in here! See if you can find a light switch!

  Sabrina Spellman : [calls]  Wait! Here's one!

  [Sabrina flips a nearby switch and fires flare up, lighting up the Third True Love test with Sabrina and Harvey standing on opposite sides of a fiery canyon with a wooden bridge suspended over a river of lava] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [calls]  I don't like this! What's going on?

  Harvey Kinkle : [calls]  It's a test of Faith! You have to get to me!

  [Sabrina notices two signs nearby pointing in opposite directions - one sign says SAFE ROAD and points away from the wooden bridge, but the other sign says TRUE LOVE and points towards the wooden bridge] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [nervously calls]  Does the "Safe Road" come anywhere near you?

  Harvey Kinkle : [calls, slightly confused]  No. I think it dead-ends in the Suburbs.

  Sabrina Spellman : [definite]  Then there's only one way!

  [Sabrina starts to cross the wooden bridge] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [nervously]  Scared... hot... really scared...! *Really* hot!

  [the middle section of the wooden bridge collapses and catches fire. Sabrina screams] 

  Harvey Kinkle : [calls]  Get back! It's not worth it!

  Sabrina Spellman : [bravely calls]  Yes it is! I can do this!

  [Sabrina runs and jumps in slow motion across the gap in the bridge over the lava - and lands safely on the other side in Harvey's arms] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [very happy]  I made it! Oh, Harvey!

  [Sabrina and Harvey embrace, but Harvey instantly vanishes] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [disappointed]  All that for a *hologram*?

• [Sabrina exits door #3] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [very excited]  I did it! I passed! It *is* true love!

  [Sabrina and Zelda embrace] 

  Zelda Spellman : [pleased]  Oh Sabrina! That's wonderful!

  Sabrina Spellman : [very happy]  I have to admit, I had my doubts but now I CAN SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD I HAVE A TRUE LOVE!

  Drell : [lying on the sofa, downcast]  Don't rub it in.

  [Drell offers the glass box Harvey is in] 

  Drell : [downcast]  Take your frog and go.

  Sabrina Spellman : [takes the glass box]  But I passed! Why's Harvey still a frog?

  Zelda Spellman : There's one final detail: To change him back, you have to return to the scene of the kiss and kiss him again.

  Sabrina Spellman : [rather disgusted]  I have to kiss a *frog*? That is so gross!

  Zelda Spellman : [typically]  Teenagers. They'll jump through flames, but ask them to kiss a frog...

  Drell : [annoyed]  Would you go?

  Zelda Spellman : [to Sabrina]  Come on.

  Sabrina Spellman : Wait. Where's Aunt Hilda?

  Zelda Spellman : [whispers]  Shhh. Don't ask.

  [Zelda and Sabrina leave. Meanwhile, Hilda is sharing a deckchair with Zak in the Second True Love test by a swimming pool with a number of desserts and is eating a Pecan Pie] 

  Hilda Spellman : [very impressed]  Hmm. Zak, this Pecan Pie is fabulous! Even better than the Cheesecake! Is that Meringue?

  [Zak gladly offers Hilda the Meringue] 

• [standing in front of a mirror, Sabrina magically changes into a white dress with wings and turns to the camera] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [holding a baby with a set of wings, a quiver with red heart arrows and sash]  Happy Valentine's Day. Watch out for Cupid.