"Roseanne" Don't Make Me Over (TV Episode 1992) - Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner

Darlene : [D.J. is sitting on the counter, kicking the kitchen cabinets with his heels] It's Mother's Day, you moron. Stop trying to tick her off.

Becky : Yea, and go upstairs and hose off whatever stupid thing you made for her in school, and bring it down.

D.J. Conner : Or what!

Darlene : Or we'll bury you under the porch with the rest of our brothers.
D.J. Conner : Here. Happy Mother's Day!

Roseanne Conner : Oh, lookit, it's an ashtray with your picture at the bottom.

Darlene : Aww, it's a shame you quit smoking, you could grind your butts out on his face.
Roseanne Conner : I got a call from D.J.'s school today because he hasn't turned in any math assignments for 2 whole weeks.

Dan : Why not?

Roseanne Conner : Well he's had a lot of extra responsibility around here since you died.

Dan : [pause] Did I suffer?

Roseanne Conner : No, a sniper shot you.

D.J. Conner : I said I was sorry!

Roseanne Conner : Ever since he got that video game all he's been doing is goofing off.
Dan : Keep stirring, Deej.

D.J. Conner : But my arm's getting sore.

Dan : If you don't keep stirring it, it won't be chili.

D.J. Conner : I don't even like chili.

Dan : Well you like science, right?

D.J. Conner : [shrugs] So?

Dan : Chili represents your three forms of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually, gas.

Michael Fishman: D.J. Conner