John Saint Ryan: Fergus

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Fergus : [discussing Diana's invitation for an inter-tribal meeting]  It's a trap.

  Conor : You think everything's a trap.

  Fergus : We're walking into the enemy camp, moving in like we're family. We're just begging for an arrow in the heart.

  Conor : Would you rather the River People make a pact with her? Or Patrick? She's invited all the tribes, you know. Patrick's weak. He could turn Roman overnight. I can just picture him parading around in his little skirt and sandals, bathing in olive oil.

  Fergus : Mud.

  Conor : What?

  Fergus : They bathe in mud. Uh, so I've heard.

• [following Malachy's advice, Conor kisses a clay pillar and the resulting explosion throws he and Fergus out of the pit] 

  Fergus : Big kiss.

  Conor : Fergus...

  Fergus : What?

  Conor : It was bigger than you know.

  [a beautiful naked woman, covered in clay, emerges out of the swirling dust] 

• [Colm has mistaken Molly for Bridget] 

  Colm : You clean up real nice. You still like it rough, girl? Are you going to give it to me rough?

  Molly : Absolutely.

  [Molly knees Colm in the crotch] 

  Molly : Rough enough for you?

  Colm : I'm going to kill you!

  Molly : Not today.

  [Molly punches Colm in the jaw] 

  Molly : I'm not a piece of merchandise to be bartered about. I'm a woman and from now on, you're going to treat women with respect.

  Colm : [Colm pulls out a knife]  Where did you get such a smart mouth?

  [Fergus smashes his fist into Colm's face, knocking him out] 

  Molly : From my Da.

  Fergus : That's the problem with kids today - no stamina.

• [Fergus and Conor are trying to help a man who has fallen into a pit] 

  Fergus : You got a name?

  Malachy : Can you keep a secret?

  [Fergus glares at him] 

  Malachy : Malachy. Malachy the Magnificent.

  Fergus : Subtle.

• Malachy : You sure you're not Roman. This is how they catch you, you know.

  Fergus : Oh, aye. The old human-ladder-in-the-hole trick.

• [Fergus wraps the naked Bridget with a blanket] 

  Fergus : Here you go, lass. Keep us honest.

  [Bridget drops the blanket to the ground, but Fergus picks it up and tries again] 

  Fergus : Sorry, my love, but can't have you displayin' your bounty for the lad. His youthful zeal might get the better of him.

  [Bridget again drops the blanket to the ground] 

  Conor : Allow me, Fergus. All it takes is a bit of youthful zeal

  Fergus : Sweet Bridget.

• [discussing Malachy] 

  Conor : What can this man tell us that we don't already know.

  Fergus : If Molly is right and the girl's a fire goddess...

  Molly : Sprite.

  Fergus : "Sprite". That's a childish name. If she is a fire goddess...

  Conor : Then we should be looking for her and not chasing down Malachy.

  Molly : We did look for her Conor - all night! This is our only hope. He may know where she is and more importantly... what she is.

• [last lines] 

  Conor : [discussing Colm]  All right, Fergus, we'll let him in. You can even lead the ceremony.

  Fergus : Me?

  Conor : Aye. You're a born leader. So, where are we going?

  Fergus : I have no idea.

  [Conor, Fergus and Molly ride off down a riverside trail]