Red Dwarf (TV Series)

The Inquisitor (1992)

Hattie Hayridge: Holly

Quotes 

• Lister : Hang on a minute, who's to say what's worth anything?

  The Cat : Oh, please, take a look in the mirror! Read your entry in Who's Nobody!

  Lister : No, I mean it, who's to judge, who's to say what's worthwhile?

  Rimmer : Well, let's face it Lister, lying on your bunk reading What Bike? And eating Sugar Puff sandwiches for eight hours a day is unlikely to qualify.

  Lister : So just because I haven't written any symphonies or painted the Sistine Chapel that makes me prunable?

  Holly : No, being a totally worthless, unwashed space-bum, that's what makes you prunable!

• Rimmer : So, Kryten. You've heard of this "Inquisitor?'

  Rimmer : Only as a myth. A dark fable. A Horror tale. Told across the embers of a flickering midnight fire where hardened space dogs gather to drink from fermented vegetable products and compete in tales of blood-chilling terror!

  Rimmer : A simple "yes" would have sufficed.

  Holly : So who is he?

  Lister : Yeah, what's his beef?

  Kryten : Well, the legend tells of a droid - a self repairing simulant, hwo survives till the end of eternity; to the end of time itself. After millions of years alone, he finally reaches the conclusion that there is no god, no afterlife, and the only purpose of existence is to lead a worthwhile life. And so the 'droid' constructs a time machine, and roams eterninity, visiting every single soul in history, and assessing each other. He erases all those who have wasted their lives and replaces them with those who never had a chance of life - the unfertilized eggs, the sperms that never made it. THAT is the Inquisitor - he prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and deletes the worthless!

  Rimmer : We're in big trouble.