Red Dwarf (TV Series)
Thanks for the Memory (1988)
Norman Lovett: Holly
Quotes
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[the crew are celebrating the anniversary of Rimmer's death]
Lister : And for this very special occasion, I have baked a cake.
Holly : What's that, then?
Lister : It's shaped like a spanner, Holly, because he was a technician.
Holly : That's very apt, that is. If he'd have been a postman, you would have baked it in the shape of an envelope, I suppose?
Lister : Yeah.
Holly : Gordon Bennet. It's lucky he's not a gynecologist.
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Rimmer : [dramatically] Somehow we've lost the last four days.
The Cat : Did you look behind the fridge? If you lose something it's nearly always there.
Rimmer : Aliens!
Lister : What?
The Cat : What are you talking about, grease stain?
Rimmer : It's a well documented phenomenon. They kidnap you, give you a mind probe, erase your memory, and put you back.
Lister : OK, aliens came aboard.
Rimmer : Without question.
Lister : They broke my leg.
Rimmer : For some reason.
The Cat : They broke MY leg.
Rimmer : Right.
Holly : And then they did a jigsaw.
Rimmer : Right.
Holly : Well, that's cleared that up then.
Rimmer : Look, you're not thinking alien. That's what aliens are: alien. They do alien things. Things that are... alien. Maybe this is the way they communicate.
The Cat : By breaking legs?
Lister : And doing jigsaws?
Rimmer : Why should they speak the way we do? They're aliens.
Lister : OK, professor, what does it mean?
Rimmer : Maybe, maybe, OK? Breaking your leg hurts like hell, OK? "Hel." They do it below the knee, "lo." "Hel-lo," gettit? They do it twice - twice, "two." "Hello two." And the jigsaw must mean "you." "Hello to you."
[pause]
The Cat : I wouldn't like to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech!
[Cat limps away]
-
[Rimmer is drunk]
Rimmer : I want a triple fried egg sandwich with...
Lister : With chili sauce and chutney.
Holly : You what?
Lister : It's a state-of-the-art sarnie.
Holly : It's the state of the floor I'm worried about. All right, okay.
[the sarnie appears in Rimmer's hand]
Lister : Trust me.
[several conflicting emotions cross Rimmer's face]
Rimmer : I think I'm having a baby.
Lister : It's good, innit?
Rimmer : It's incredible. Where did you get the recipe?
Lister : I can't remember. I think it was a book on bacteriological warfare.
Rimmer : It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery.
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Holly : Supplies are plentiful. We have enough food and drink to last 30,000 years, although we have run out of Shake 'n' Vac.
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Holly : Look, there's a perfectly logical explanation for everything, with the possible exception of little Jimmy Osmond.