Photos
Quotes
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Kryten : [to Rimmer] Has anyone ever told you that you are a disgusting, pus-filled bubo who has all the wit, charm and self-possession of an Alsatian dog after a head-swap operation?
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Kryten : [after his faux-pas where he called Rimmer's mother an "old trout"] Well, if you'll excuse me, sir, I'll go now, this is clearly a very private family moment. I've no fish to embarrass you further. I'll let myself trout.
[realises what he's just said and becomes hysterically embarrassed again]
Kryten : Oh, sir! I don't... I'm so sorry!
Rimmer : Just go.
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Kryten : [about a woman in Rimmer's old home movie] Who's that there? An old girlfriend, Mr. Arnold, sir?
Rimmer : Hardly.
Kryten : Oh, no, not really your type, I suppose. Silly old trout like that.
Rimmer : She's my mother.
Kryten : Oh, God! I am so sorry, sir!
Rimmer : Just forget it.
Kryten : Oh, how can I forget it, sir? I compared your mother to a foolish, aged, blubbery fish! I said she was a simple-minded, scaly old piscine! I intimated that she was an ugly, lung-less marine animal with galloping senility! A putrid, amphibious gill-breather with, with, with less brains than a mollusc!
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Kryten : Enjoying your meal, sir?
Dave Lister : It's delicious, Kryten. De-smegging-licious. It's me own recipe, you know. Shami kebab diablo. It's beautiful, man, it's like eating molten lava! I cooked for one once for Peterson, you know. He was in sick bay for a week, what a weed.
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[Kryten gives Lister an injection]
Dave Lister : What's that pal, are you startin' trouble?
Kryten : It's just a little something to calm you down, sir!
Dave Lister : Come on then all of ya, SLAGS! All together or one at a time I don't care, it's all to the same to me, I'm...
[faints]
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Dave Lister : Look, it needs killin'! And if that means I have to sacrifice my life in some stupid pointless way, then all the better.
Kryten : Yes, why not - I mean even if it doesn't work it'll still be a laugh.
