Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Me² (1988)

Chris Barrie: Rimmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lister : It's not only one-way, Rimmer. You're hardly Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Easy-To-Live-With.

  Rimmer : What are you talking about?

  Lister : I'm talking about playing your self-hypnosis tapes all through the night. "Learn Esperanto While You Sleep." "Learn Quantum Theory While You Sleep."

  Rimmer : Oh come on, we both got the same benefit.

  Lister : Yeah. Neither of us got any sleep.

• Rimmer : Everything you ever did, you did to pull me back and annoy me.

  Lister : Like what?

  Rimmer : Like using my Mother's photograph as an ashtray.

  Lister : I didn't know. I thought it was a souvenir from Titan Zoo.

  Rimmer : Exchanging the symbols on my revision timetable so instead of taking my engineering finals I went swimming.

  Lister : The symbols fell off. I thought I put them back in the right place.

  Rimmer : Swapping my toothpaste for a tube of contraceptive jelly.

  Lister : That was a joke.

  Rimmer : Yes, Lister. The same kind of joke as putting my name down on the waiting list for experimental Pile Surgery.

• Lister : What about the time you tied my hair to the bed-post and then sounded the fire alarm?

  Rimmer : Lister, I did that because I was sick of you annoying me. I don't have to explain it.

  Lister : I nearly needed brain surgery.

  Rimmer : What brains?

• Rimmer : [on his death video]  If you put Napoleon in quarters with Lister, he'd still be in Corsica peeling spuds.

• Rimmer : Lister, we don't have to take this anymore. We don't have to put up with your snidey remarks, your total slobbiness, your socks that set off the sprinkler system.

• Rimmer : If only they'd mentioned it in basic training! Instead of climbing up and down ropes and crawling on your elbows through tunnels - if only just ONCE they'd said Gazpacho soup is served cold - I could have been an admiral by now!

• Lister : [observing the skutters]  Why are they painting the corridor the same colour it was before?

  Rimmer : They're changing it from ocean grey to military grey - something that should have been done a long time ago.

• Rimmer : I can't believe that I've been ippy dippy'd to death.