Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Holoship (1992)

Robert Llewellyn: Kryten

Quotes 

• Kryten : They've taken Mr. Rimmer! Sir, they've taken Mr. Rimmer!

  The Cat : Quick, let's get out of here before they bring him back!

• Kryten : What you're suggesting is immoral and illegal. Mind patching is outlawed.

  Rimmer : But it *is* possible!

  Kryten : Possible, but highly dangerous. The side effects can be devastating. You could be reduced to a gibbering simpleton!

  The Cat : Reduced?

• The Cat : Why don't we drop the defensive shields?

  Kryten : A superlative suggestion, sir. With just two minor flaws. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that technically speaking that's only one flaw but I thought that it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning twice.

  The Cat : Good point, well made.

• Kryten : The side effects can be devastating. You could be reduced to a gibbering simpleton.

  The Cat : Reduced?

• Rimmer : Wasn't it St. Francis of Assisi himself who said "Never give a sucker an even break"?

  Kryten : Well if he did, sir, it was strictly off the record!

• Kryten : You must remember that he is operating on a completely different level to us now. To him, we are the intellectual equivalent of domestic science teachers.

• The Cat : Personally, I thought it started well but fell apart. All the stuff about the ducks getting into trouble - that was great. But then it went black and white and I fell asleep.

  Kryten : But sir, that was the cartoon before the main programme!

• Rimmer : I wrote a palindromic haiku this morning, perhaps you'd like to hear it?

  Kryten : I'm afraid we don't speak Japanese, sir.

  Rimmer : I could translate it into Mandarin for you.

  Lister : Rimmer we don't speak Japanese, we don't speak Mandarin and we don't speak satsuma!