Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Confidence and Paranoia (1988)

Danny John-Jules: Cat

Quotes 

• The Cat : Hey! You're awake!

  Lister : Yeah, I've just woke up.

  The Cat : Yeah, well, I've brought you some presents!

  Lister : Aw, you shouldn't have bothered.

  The Cat : Ha ha! Well, I'm that kind of guy! Hey, let's see what we've got in the magic bag here! I got you some grapes!

  [the Cat holds up the bare stems of an ex-bunch of grapes] 

  The Cat : And I got you an orange!

  [the Cat holds up an orange peel] 

  Lister : Thanks a lot.

  The Cat : That's all right. Hey, well, all this enormous generosity has made me tired. I'm going to bed.

  [the Cat takes Lister's pillow and blanket and lays down on the bottom bunk] 

  The Cat : Ah, yes, indeedy.

• Rimmer : [to Lister]  You're awake.

  The Cat : Yeah, but I'll be asleep in a minute.

  Rimmer : [to Lister]  How do you feel?

  The Cat : Fine. Just don't ask me any more questions. I'm trying to sleep!

  Rimmer : Shut up you stupid moggy and out of that bed!

  The Cat : [Getting out of bed]  Well, if you're going to speak to me like that, I'm gonna take my presents back!

  [the Cat grabs the bag from Lister and heads for the door] 

  Rimmer : [to Lister]  How do you feel?

  The Cat : [walking out of the room]  Hurt!

• The Cat : [jumping around a corridor spraying things with a spray can]  And this is mine, that's mine, all this is mine, I'm claiming all this as mine. Except that bit. I don't want that bit. But all the rest of this is mine! Hey, this has been a good day! I've eaten five times, I've slept six times and I've made a lot of things mine! Tomorrow, I'm going to see if I can't have sex with something! Owww, yeah!