Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Confidence and Paranoia (1988)

Lee Cornes: Paranoia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Confidence : [to Lister]  King, you can do anything! Anything!

  [next scene] 

  Paranoia : [about Lister]  - anything. He can't do anything.

• Rimmer : [on Lister and Confidence]  I don't believe it, he's socializing with a figment of his imagination.

  Paranoia : Yes.

• Paranoia : [seated]  Do you know he used to practice kissing on his own?

  Rimmer : How?

  Paranoia : [demonstrating]  He made lips out of one hand and waggled his thumb through the gap, like a tongue.

  Rimmer : That is priceless! It really is.

  Paranoia : Seventeen years old and he used to snog his own hand.

  [a scutter rolls in a door behind Paranoia, holding a syringe] 

  Paranoia : [now standing, uncomfortably close to Rimmer]  Once, in front of the whole school, he called his gym teacher "Daddy". I could've *died* with embarrassment.

  Rimmer : [motioning to the scutter]  Oh, what a silly thing to call a gym master.

  Paranoia : I'm *racked* with guilt. I *hate* him.

  Rimmer : Well, if you hate him, why do you talk about him so much?

  Paranoia : Because he makes my life one big, humiliating, cringe-making, guilt-ridden *hell*!

  Rimmer : [shouting to the scutter]  Now! Stab him! Stab him! Stab him! Quick! Stab him!

  [Paranoia turns to look at the scutter... which has hardly moved] 

  Rimmer : Uh, you haven't met Stabem, have you? He's one of our scutters. Stabem, meet Lister's paranoia; Lister's paranoia, this is Stabem.

  [the scutter drops the syringe and tries to shake hands with Paranoia]