Photos
Quotes
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Lister : Have you figured out a way to get us out of here yet, Hol?
Holly : I have actually, Dave. I've devoted all my runtime to looking for a loophole in the Prison Regs. And I think I've come up with something which means you can serve you entire two year sentence in just 14 weeks.
Lister : Oh, brilliant. What have I gotta do?
Holly : Become a dog.
Lister : A dog?
Holly : According to my data banks, dog years are seven times shorter than human years. As a plan, you can't fault it on its mathematics.
Lister : No, but maybe you can fault it on the fact that I'm not a dog.
Holly : Yeah, but according to a 20th century newspaper called The National Enquirer, the operation's quite straightforward.
[Lister looks dumbstruck]
Holly : A roverostomy, they called it. There's a photograph here of a bloke who had it done.
[shows picture of a dog on the front page of a magazine]
Lister : That's a dog.
Holly : See how convincing it is? Even you're fooled.
Lister : Becoming a dog. That is without doubt the most stupidest, crappiest, most pathetic idea you've thought of the whole week.
Holly : Give me a chance. It's only Monday.
