Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Cassandra (1999)

Robert Llewellyn: Kryten

Quotes 

• Kryten : I have a theory, everyone. The Silverburg didn't crash, did it, Cassandra? The ship was sent here by the Space Corps on autopilot to get rid of you; to abandon you in a lunar sea in the depths of deep space.

  The Cat : That's brilliant, bud! How did you work that out?

  Kryten : I read it on this mission directive here.

• Kryten : A computer that unerringly predicts the future...

  Cassandra : ...is a dangerous thing indeed.

  Kryten : ...is a dangerous... yes, precisely.

• Kryten : [to Rimmer]  Harness your stupidity, sir! Employ your witlessness! Use your empty-headed, simplistic moron mind and find a solution!

• Rimmer : Cassandra, I have a question.

  Cassandra : I know, Arnold, because I know the rest of this conversation.

  Rimmer : So what's the answer?

  Cassandra : He chokes to death aged 181 trying to remove a bra with his teeth.

  Lister : What was the question?

  Rimmer : I just asked how you died.

  Lister : You what? I didn't wanna know that. Who's bra?

  The Cat : 181? Probably your own.

  Lister : Come on, though. Taking a bra off with my teeth aged 181. That's a hell of a sexy way to go.

  Kryten : So long as the teeth are in your mouth at the time, sir.

• Lister : [to Rimmer]  Hey, I've been surviving in space for five or six years. When it comes to weirdy, paradoxy space stuff, I bought the T-shirt.

  Kryten : He bought it and I ironed it for him!

  Lister : Exactly.

• Rimmer : So, to summarise, six years of space adventuring; six years of physics and astro-navigation has led you to the conclusion that I'm totally stuffed.

  Kryten : Mr. Rimmer does have a point, sir. Your greater knowledge is making him pessimistic, therefore making his mind and his dough-like naïvete come up with a possible solution.

  Lister : Shut your stupid flat head, you!