Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Balance of Power (1988)

David Gillespie: Selby

Quotes 

• [flashback scene in the disco - Chen starts another one of their games again, he starts slapping the table, clapping his hands and clicking his fingers, the others do the same, in unison] 

  Chen : [chanting]  I've been to Titan, I've been to Bolanski, I can name 90 men who've slept with Kochanski! Me!

  Petersen : Me!

  Selby : Me!

  Chen : The London Jet Juniors!

  Petersen : The service droids!

  Selby : My mother!

  [they laugh] 

  Lister : OK! Leave it alone! Leave it...

  [the scene dissolves to Lister sitting by himself in the same room, 3 million years later] 

  Lister : [sadly]  ... alone.

• [flashback scene - Lister and his friends are sitting at a table in a disco. In unison, they start slapping the table, clapping their hands and clicking their fingers] 

  Petersen : [chanting]  I have been to Titan, I have been to Juno, I can name eight things that go in jars that you know! Pickles!

  Selby : Jam!

  Chen : Spag-hett-i!

  Lister : Brains!

  [they stop] 

  Selby : What, in jars?

  Lister : Me uncle's brain's in a jar. It's really sad.

  Chen : Why is it sad?

  Lister : He's not dead yet!

  [he laughs] 

  Petersen : Right, everybody's punished. Finish your drinks!

  [they drink their beers, gargle them, spit them out, then put their glasses on their heads and start trying to tickle each other]