- [Justin's mom is helping Brian sell his loft]
- Jennifer Taylor: It's a special place.
- Brian: 'Special' as in 'unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind' or 'special' as in 'there are schools that can teach me to dress myself'?
- [Jennifer is looking around Brian's loft]
- Jennifer Taylor: It's for a certain kind of person. A person who's, uh... has no children, who's... single, a person who... let's face it, Brian. It's a fuckpad.
- Debbie Novotny: Oh! Look, Vic, you got a postcard. From Michelangelo.
- Emmett Honeycutt: That must've been lost in the mail a long time.
- Vic Grassi: Actually, we met at a faerie gathering.
- Emmett Honeycutt: The Tony Awards?
- [Ted is scrubbing floors at the rehabilitation center]
- Ted Schmidt: I wonder if they made Elizabeth Taylor do this.
- Blake Wyzecki: Absolutely. In her diamonds.
- Ted Schmidt: Well, maybe I'd feel better about it if I was wearing a 600-carat choker.
- Blake Wyzecki: I'll pick one up for you while I'm out.
- James 'Hunter' Montgomery: [on the phone] We're stuck in a shit-hole motel in the pouring rain, down to our last Cheeto, but, other than that, life is beautiful.