Queer as Folk (TV Series)

Smells Like Codependence (2001)

Chris Potter: Dr. David Cameron

Quotes 

• Michael Novotny : [voice-over narration]  Everybody's always wishing they had a boyfriend. We all picture how he'd look, how he'd sound, how nice it'd be to have someone to share your life, your dreams, your dental floss...

  Dr. David Cameron : [referring to the trick who's cruising them]  Little disconcerting when you're trying to eat.

  Michael Novotny : [voice-over narration]  ...so how come so few of us have one? That's because we're lying. Most of us couldn't commit to a house plant, how are we supposed to commit to having a boyfriend?

  [to David] 

  Michael Novotny : You should see what it's like when Brian comes here. I'm so sorry, I promised I would not mention his name for ten minutes.

  Dr. David Cameron : I'd settle for five.

  [Michael smiles] 

  Dr. David Cameron : And you've gotta stop smiling like that.

  Michael Novotny : [smiles]  Like what?

  Dr. David Cameron : Like that. It makes me want to come across the table and eat you like a dessert.

  Michael Novotny : Would you like some whip cream with that, Sir?

• Michael Novotny : [David approaches Michael with a bouquet of flowers.]  Hi.

  [David kisses Michael on the lips. Michael is looking at the flowers] 

  Michael Novotny : These are great. My Mom will love these.

  Dr. David Cameron : [laughs]  Hers are in the car; those are for you.

  Emmett Honeycutt : [comes over to get the flowers, whispering]  The second sign: flowers.

  [to David] 

  Emmett Honeycutt : I'll just put these in some water.

  Dr. David Cameron : [puzzled]  Everything alright?

  Brian Kinney : He's allergic to boyfriends bringing bouquets.

• Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : Just like "Lady And The Tramp".

  Dr. David Cameron : "Lady And The Tramp"?

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : It's Michael's favorite movie.

  Michael Novotny : When I was nine!

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : You see Lady and Tramp go on this date to an Italian restaurant. And then the waiter...

  Vic Grassi : Tony.

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : What else would his name be?

  [laughs] 

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : ...brings over this big bowl of spaghetti and meat balls. And... ehm, and they put their heads in the bowl... They're... they're dogs.

  [David laughs.] 

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : And they come up with this one single strand of spaghetti. And then they chew, and they chew and...

  Vic Grassi : ...and they get closer, and closer...

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : ...until finally their lips meet.

  Michael Novotny : [to David]  It is, in my estimation, the greatest screen kiss ever.

• [last lines] 

  Dr. David Cameron : [to Brian about Michael]  Maybe I should just disappear. You'd probably like that and he probably wouldn't think twice about it. But I'm not going to. I'm not going to disappear. Because I want him. Even more than you don't want me to have him. So if you're really his best friend, give him a chance to be happy. To have a life. His own life. Let him go.

• Michael Novotny : Ma, this is David. And I... I thought tonight was your night off.

  Dr. David Cameron : I, ah... Loraine got food poisoning.

  [pointing to the plate] 

  Dr. David Cameron : I think it was the shish kebab.

  [David immediately drops the shish kebab that he was about to eat, terrified.] 

  Dr. David Cameron : [laughing]  Just kidding! Okay, I gotta get cranking. I got a lot of hungry boys to feed.

• Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : [David is having dinner at Michael's Mom's place]  Have some more carbonara, David.

  Dr. David Cameron : Hmmm... I'm stuffed. Thanks.

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : Oh, come on. With that body, you can afford to carbo load.

  Vic Grassi : Yeah, you must work out all the time.

  Dr. David Cameron : Well, when I can.

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : Feel those biceps.

  [reaching over to touch David's arm] 

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : I could never resist a hard body.

  [laughing] 

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : Like mother, like son.

  Vic Grassi : Like uncle.

  Michael Novotny : Like, will you two please leave him alone? Next you'll be asking what kind of car he drives and how much he makes.

  [David laughs. Debbie and Vic look at him, staring with anticipation.] 

  Dr. David Cameron : I drive a Jag, and I'm comfortable.

  Vic Grassi : Michael, if you don't marry this man immediately, I will!

  Dr. David Cameron : I think I will have a little more.

  Michael Novotny : Me too.

• Dr. David Cameron : [David and Michael are making out in Michael's old room.]  I got a solution. I got a solution. How would you like to go away with me for the weekend?

  Michael Novotny : Huh?

  Dr. David Cameron : I got a cabin up in the woods.

  Michael Novotny : Will we get to see anything besides the bedroom ceiling?

  Dr. David Cameron : [laughing]  Word of honor. What do you say?

  [Michael looks into David's eyes blankly, doesn't know what to say.] 

  Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny : [shouting]  Say "yes", you little asshole, or I'll disown you!

  [David laughs again.] 

  Michael Novotny : Like I said, it's a very small house.