- [the Senator is about to announce his re-election campaign]
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Pierce, hurry upstairs and change. The Press will be here soon.
- Pierce Van Horne: Mother, you promised I wouldn't have to wear those dumb footsie pajamas again.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: They're not dumb. They're terribly cute. The Press, Pierce, remember the Press.
- Pierce Van Horne: Mother - Mother look at me, please. I am not a photo opportunity.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Oh, sweetheart, don't be so hard on yourself. You're adorable.
- [desperate, he turns to his father for help]
- Pierce Van Horne: Dad?
- Theodore Van Horne: I'll try.
- [a quick glance at his wife]
- Theodore Van Horne: I'll fail.
- Pierce Van Horne: I'm gonna be in therapy for the rest of my life. Forget it. I won't do it.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Really. Well, your father and I were planning on having dinner with you one night this week. I guess we can just forget about that.
- Pierce Van Horne: Okay.
- [he takes the PJs and goes upstairs to change]
- Caitlyn Van Horne: If I ever talked back to my mother like that...
- Theodore Van Horne: ...you'd probably lose a leg.
- Margaret Powers: We're only having the press. Why would I serve a whole fresh-roast turkey to people who would happily eat a sock on white bread if it were free?
- Margaret Powers: I didn't realize your people ate shellfish.
- Sophie Lipkin: My people? Oh. Well, some of my people do. We like to have them as a side dish when we're eating the Christian babies.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Pierce, go upstairs.
- Pierce Van Horne: How about if I just go home?
- Caitlyn Van Horne: How 'bout if I have the dog put to sleep?
- Pierce Van Horne: Mother, you do this for every big party. You buy an outfit one size too small and then you starve yourself to get into it.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Mummy has no choice, darling. Look at me, I'm enormous!
- Theodore Van Horne: [sarcastic] And I'm happy.