Poirot (TV Series)

Problem at Sea (1989)

David Suchet: Hercule Poirot

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hercule Poirot : Your vitality is formidable, dear lady.

  Mrs Clapperton : "You're so alive, Adeline," they say to me. But really, Monsieur Poirot, what would one be if one wasn't alive?

  Hercule Poirot : Dead, Madame.

• [last lines] 

  Ellie Henderson : It was a cruel, dirty trick you played, Monsieur Poirot.

  Hercule Poirot : I do not approve of murder. Mademoiselle.

• Captain Fowler : Well, what do you say, Mister Poirot?

  Hercule Poirot : One cannot hurry the little grey cells, Captain.

• Hercule Poirot : Oh, Hastings, Hastings.

  Captain Hastings : What?

  Hercule Poirot : Whatever is the use of me introducing you to nice young ladies if all you do is talk about the shooting of the clay pigeons?

  Captain Hastings : But I like it. You heard what Miss Henderson said. She'd like to talk about it tomorrow.

  Hercule Poirot : Oh, Hastings, Hastings, Hastings.

• Hercule Poirot : Monsieurs, Madames. What I am about to do might surprise you a little. You'll probably think of me as eccentric-perhaps mad. You might say, "the little Belgian is taking leave from his rocker", huh? But I must assure you, that behind my madness is, what you English say... method.

  [Poirot lifts the cover of the hidden object on the table; revealing a small, simple, leather suitcase] 

  Hercule Poirot : [sotto voce]  Voila! A suitcase!

  [slightly sarcastic] 

  Hercule Poirot : How interesting!

  [normal] 

  Hercule Poirot : Of course, nothing's interesting about suitcases.

  [chuckles] 

  Hercule Poirot : But you may know that suitcases... have contents.

  [Poirot opens the suitcase very slowly but full of anticipation; the audience of the passengers watch in expectation. Poirot opens the lid, gasps slightly and slowly lifts up the object in the suitcase... which is revealed to be a cute, porcelain doll] 

  Mrs Tolliver : [smiling; recognizing]  Why... It's a doll!

  Hercule Poirot : Ah! Yes, a doll. Now, this doll... is an important witness to the truth of the death of Madame Clapperton.

  [pause] 

  Hercule Poirot : But how does it know? It is a doll. But THIS is a doll...

  [sotto voce] 

  Hercule Poirot : ...That can speak!

  [Poirot makes the doll turn towards him, so that their faces are parallel from one another and their noses are two inches apart; the passengers look at him as if he had lost his mind, slightly disturbed] 

  Hercule Poirot : [he senses the passengers disbelief and quickly turns to them; rapid fire speech]  You never seen dolls that could speak?

  [normal voice] 

  Hercule Poirot : Of course, you have!

  Hercule Poirot : [as he slowly and gently puts the doll back in the suitcase]  All we need to do is to put the doll back into the suitcase, where she cannot be seen... She doesn't want to be seen; this little lady.

  [to the concealed doll in the suitcase] 

  Hercule Poirot : Can you hear me, mon poupée?

  Ismene : [as the doll's voice]  Aye!

  Hercule Poirot : [speaking loudly yet slowly]  Now, Can you tell us... about the death... of Madame Clapperton?

  Ismene : [imitating Madame Clapperton]  What is it, John? The Door's locked... I don't want to be disturbed by the stewards.

  Colonel John Clapperton : [he begins to twitch his eyes and hyperventilate; he glares at Poirot, who glares at him back sternly; revealing the Col. Clapperton is the murderer]  You!

  [He bolts forward] 

  Captain Hastings : [as he and Bates stop the enraged Col. Clapperton from reaching Poirot]  Stop him!

  Colonel John Clapperton : [after being restrained; he glares at the stern Poirot; finally caught; snarling with hatred]  YES.

• Ismene : [after Poirot captured the murderer; she comes out of her hiding place; revealing that she is the doll's "voice"]  Did I do everything right, Mr. Poirot?

  Hercule Poirot : [satified]  Oh, yes...

  [Poirot opens the suitcase; brings out the doll and hands it back to it's rightful owner; Ismene] 

  Hercule Poirot : Mon poupée

  [Ismene smiles at Hercule Poirot as she hugs her doll] 

• Hercule Poirot : What about Mademoiselle Henderson?

  Captain Hastings : Really? No.

  Hercule Poirot : Oh, I think perhaps she has the motive, no?

  Captain Hastings : She's a lady, Poirot.

  Hercule Poirot : And you think, mon ami, that ladies do not commit murder?

  Captain Hastings : Ladies don't get found out.

• Hercule Poirot : Many odious women have devoted husbands. It is an enigma of nature.

• Hercule Poirot : [on the Colonel]  His self-control was too perfect. No matter how galling was the conduct of his wife, it never seemed to touch him. That either meant that he was so used to it that it no longer stung... or else he knew his bondage would soon be over.

• [Kitty Mooney is lying prostrate on her bed, crying. Pamela is trying to comfort her friend, but to now avail] 

  Pamela Cregan : [patting Kitty's shoulder soothingly]  It's all right, Kitty.

  [a knock on the door] 

  Pamela Cregan : Who is it?

  Hercule Poirot : It is I, Hercule Poirot

  [Kitty makes a small burst of crying] 

  Pamela Cregan : It's all right, Kitty...

  [Pamela walks toward the door and opens it] 

  Hercule Poirot : Hello, Mademoiselle Cregan. May I come in, please? I have a question to ask you.

  Pamela Cregan : Oh yes, do come in but... you see...

  Hercule Poirot : I just have one question.

  Pamela Cregan : I know, but... it's just that Kitty is making such a blessed racket.

  Hercule Poirot : Oh dear, dear...

  Pamela Cregan : [as Kitty sniffles and cries softy in the background]  Well, she blames herself, you see... and me?

  Hercule Poirot : [genuinely surprised]  But how could she blame herself?

  Pamela Cregan : Well, we did say terrible things about her.

  Hercule Poirot : Ah, my dear Mademoiselle Cregan, if everyone on board who had said such unpleasant things about Madame Clapperton were to make as much noise as your friend, this boat would be a danger to shipping.

  Pamela Cregan : [smiles; pats Kitty genty]  There... It's all right, Kitty. see?

  [Kitty lets out a prolonged sob] 

  Hercule Poirot : [genuinely compassionate]  Oh...

• Ellie Henderson : Was Colonel Clapperton alone when he came ashore?

  Hercule Poirot : Was he alone? Let me think... Maybe someone was with him.

  Ellie Henderson : Ms. Mooney and Ms. Cregan perhaps.

  Hercule Poirot : Yes, yes, the two little girls. Yes.

  Ellie Henderson : They're not children, Monsieur Poirot. Nor am I.