Quotes
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[Jeremy is giving Mark an 'overdose' of Lempsip]
Jeremy Usborne : [voiceover] Shit, could this actually kill him? It's not going to kill him, it's just loads and loads of medicine. He'll probably wake up in three days completely cured.
[to Mark]
Jeremy Usborne : You should drink all that down.
Mark Corrigan : OK thanks, I will.
[He continues to drink mug of Lemsip]
Jeremy Usborne : That's right, drink it all down. OK, have a nice nap.
Mark Corrigan : Thanks.
Jeremy Usborne : [voiceover] It'll be OK, it's not like I'm going to rape him... I could rape him... I'm not going to rape him.
[!]
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[Jeremy has locked Mark in his room and pushed a takeaway bag under the door for him to go to the toilet in]
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Oh God. Can I do this? If I do this, even if I end up marrying Sophie and we live in a detached house in Surrey and buy a holiday home in Umbria, our children will always look up at the face of a man who once crapped into a takeaway bag. Plus I'd have to hide it here somewhere, in my room next to one of my things. I could throw it out the window. No, that's what they want you to do, that's where society's headed! People shitting in bags and throwing them out the window at each other, well, I'm not going to be the first! Not in my name!
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Jeremy Usborne : You da man!
Mark Corrigan : I'm a man!
Jeremy Usborne : It's you "da" man.
Mark Corrigan : Whatever, Jeremy, let's not quibble. I'm a man!
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Jeremy Usborne : It's just, Big Suze and everyone, they're coming over. And you might want to make yourself scarce because we're going to be taking some magic mushrooms.
Mark Corrigan : Magic mushrooms?
Jeremy Usborne : Yes, and we're gonna smash down the doors of perception so we can see all the stuff that...
Mark Corrigan : Isn't really there.
Jeremy Usborne : That is really there but we don't normally see because we're so transfixed on...
Mark Corrigan : The stuff that is really there.
Jeremy Usborne : Oh, it's so simple for you, isn't it? But the truth that you're so scared of hearing is that in fact reality and fantasy are exactly the same thing.
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Mark Corrigan : You let Super Hans use for my bed for... filth!
Jeremy Usborne : [very poorly pretending to care] Oh, no. They didn't go in there did they? Oh, that really is too much. Oh, I'm annoyed now. I'm so annoyed with them. That is too much.
Mark Corrigan : Well, where in our massive duplex did you think they'd be? In one of the guest suites, or the billiard room?
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[about Jeremy]
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Why is he so happy? I suppose I'd be happy if I just spent the whole day practising my signature and measuring my knob with dental floss.
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Mark Corrigan : [about the broken bathroom door] Look, Jeremy, I know for you, doing your business in public is probably some sort of dream come true but I can't live like that. You need to sort this out.
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Jeremy Usborne : Mark, stop, relax, it's OK, it's fine. You're recuperating. Have some lunch.
[hands him a bowl of crisps]
Jeremy Usborne : Three different flavours all mixed up. Mmm, exciting. And then after that, beans. Until you're better, I'm going to cook all your meals.
Mark Corrigan : Right. Thanks. Crisps and beans.
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : What will come first, scurvy or rickets?
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Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Made excellent time. Great bus driver. Same old route, though. I should probably alter it occassionally, evade kidnappers. Not much of a risk, but I'd feel such an ass if it did happen.
