Peep Show (TV Series)

The Interview (2003)

David Mitchell: Mark Corrigan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Workshy freeloader.

  Jeremy Usborne : [voiceover]  Tight-fisted cockmuncher.

• Jeremy Usborne : Ah, you see! He did do it, but for a nice reason. Who's the racist now, Mark?

  Mark Corrigan : [leaving an answerphone message]  Er, Sophie, if you heard that, please ignore it. I'm not a racist, far from it. Anyway... it's good to hear your voice. I know it's only a recording but you have got a bloody nice voice and... God, uh, I just called up to say hi and then...

  [sings awkwardly] 

  Mark Corrigan : Then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like... I like you.

  [pause] 

  Mark Corrigan : I mean, not that. But anyway, I noticed that the paper in the photocopier is running a bit low so, I know it's not really your job but, you know, so... see you tomorrow.

  [puts the phone down] 

  Mark Corrigan : Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

  Jeremy Usborne : Oh, fuck!

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, my God.

  Jeremy Usborne : Jesus!

  Mark Corrigan : I've really fucked it. Have I fucked it?

  Jeremy Usborne : Maybe it was charming.

  Mark Corrigan : It was the behaviour of an oddball.

  Jeremy Usborne : No, not an oddball, a maverick... um, you may not play by the rules but, by Christ you get results.

• [At the job interview] 

  Barbara Bingham : Well, I guess that's everything. Jeremy, is there anything you'd like to ask?

  Jeremy Usborne : Yes, Barbara. Yes, there is. Barbara, how much washing-up do you think you could do without any washing-up liquid?

  Mark Corrigan : No, Jeremy.

  Barbara Bingham : Where's this...

  Jeremy Usborne : It's a unique business opportunity.

  Mark Corrigan : It's pyramid selling, Barbara, I'm very sorry.

  Jeremy Usborne : It's not pyramid selling, Mark. It's...

  Mark Corrigan : It's pyramid selling and you're making a fool of yourself!

  Jeremy Usborne : You're pissing on my bonfire!

  Mark Corrigan : There is no bonfire!

  Jeremy Usborne : Because you keep pissing on it!

  Mark Corrigan : This is low. This is really low.

  Jeremy Usborne : Yeah, well, at least I don't fancy elves and pixies!

  Mark Corrigan : What does that mean? I literally have no idea what that is supposed to mean!

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants, that's the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken.

  [Jeremy walks past the bedroom door, naked apart from a pair of socks] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  He just does not give one solitary shit.

• [Mark takes two slices of toast from the toaster] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Brown for first course, white for pudding. Brown's savoury, white's the treat. ' 'Course I'm the one who's laughing because I actually love brown toast.

• [Mark has just had a go at another JLB Credit employee for using the lift to only go to the first floor, contravening the rules, but it turned out he had a limp] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  People like him should wear stickers. They've got them for their cars... Oh yeah, great idea, Adolf!

• Mark Corrigan : [to Sophie]  Later, potater!

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Ugh, potater? What have I become?

• Mark Corrigan : The truth is... The truth is, I suppose, I like you. That's why I said the song. I like you. Is that such a crime? Should I be hounded to the ends of the Earth just for liking you? I like you and if you can't handle it, you can just... you know, fuck off.

  Sophie Chapman : No, no, I think I can handle you liking me.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Great, he'll be able to pay off the Blockbusters fine. Plus I'll be able to order him around. Not horrible, just... Jeremy could you file this for me? Jeremy could you take that for me? Jeremy could you suck this for me... Jesus! Where did that come from?

• [Mark empties a packet of crisps into his mouth] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Enter the pit of Sarlacc, little crisps!

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  She's ignoring me. Of course she's ignoring me, this morning I sent her a bloody swastika. Jesus! This is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever and... Relax, Mark, you're not Hitler in his bunker. He was really under the cosh. Mind you, at least he had a girlfriend.

• Jeremy Usborne : Are you trying to piss on my bonfire?

  Mark Corrigan : I'm trying to protect you from... pissing all over yourself.

  Jeremy Usborne : I'm not about to piss all over myself. I'm... I'm pissing into the big time.

• Mark Corrigan : Listen, Jeremy. You don't seem to understand. Nothing you want is ever going to happen. That's the real world. Your hair isn't red. People don't walk around on stilts. Maybe somewhere you can earn a living sitting around drinking margaritas through a curly plastic straw, but in this world you've got to turn up, log on and grind out.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  OK, enough mooning, let's strap on the nosebag and eat some serious work.

• [the limping guy who Mark had a run-in with earlier walks past, without a limp. He gives a Mark a v-sign while pretending to scratch his face] 

  Mark Corrigan : Hey! Hey there! Feeling better now, are we? Fully recovered? Hey, I see you! I see you!

  [to his boss Barbara] 

  Mark Corrigan : He used to have a limp! I mean, he pretended to have a limp! He's a faking little peg leg!