- Jim Halpert: My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up.
- [takes a deep breath, shakes head]
- Jim Halpert: He is very real.
- [sighs]
- Jim Halpert: It's true, I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Michael. So, three ingredients for a great party.
- Pam Beesly: It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's gonna be really gross, but I have to see if it's *really* dead.
- Michael Scott: [just arrived at party, uninvited, and notices IT guy, who wears a turban] Oh, come on, that guy?
- [pauses, looks at camera]
- Michael Scott: He is a good guy, not a terrorist.
- Chris: [Michael is at his improv class. He recently had all his "guns" taken away by Chris] Freeze.
- Michael Scott: I'm in.
- Chris: Do you want to go over the rules one more time?
- Michael Scott: No, no, no, no.
- [He taps MaryBeth and kneels next to Bill]
- Michael Scott: I'm looking in my wallet for some money so you can tell me my fortune.
- Bill: [Bill continues with Michael's set-up, miming a crystal ball] I promise it's worth it. Ooh, I can see you walking out of here and you're thrilled with your reading.
- Michael Scott: What are you-
- [He pauses, and then whispers in Bill's ear. Bill raises his hands in the air]
- Chris: Michael, what did you tell him?
- Michael Scott: Nothing.
- Chris: Then why are his hands up? Bill?
- Bill: He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun.
- Michael Scott: It is Friday morning and it is another beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
- [sees man in a turban outside]
- Michael Scott: Oh my God. Ohhh.
- [dials phone number]
- Michael Scott: Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh, we have a serious problem here.
- [goes out onto office floor]
- Michael Scott: Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here.
- Jim Halpert: Are we in danger?
- Michael Scott: There's no time to think about if this is real. Just, shh, everybody.
- [knock at the front door]
- Kevin Malone: Michael, should I call the...
- [Michael waves his hands]
- Kevin Malone: What?
- Michael Scott: [talking to the camera] The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start.