NewsRadio (TV Series)

Smoking (1995)

David Foley: Dave Nelson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave : I'm Bill, we are now officially a non-smoking office. What you are doing can be punishable by a 100 dollar fine.

  Bill : You're kidding.

  Dave : No, I am not kidding.

  [Bill hands Dave a $100 bill] 

  Dave : Bill that's not how it's supposed to work. Now put that out.

• Bill : [drinking coffee in Dave's office]  You don't mind, do ya?

  Dave : Oh, no, gosh no, Bill, please enjoy!

  Bill : Ah, the ol' Java Jive. Chock Full o' Nuts? They should call it Chock Full o' Flavor!

• Dave : I have an idea. Tell you what - I'll give up coffee... if you give up cigarettes. Huh? We'll go through this thing together.

  Bill : How is that supposed to help me? You should have to give up something of equal difficulty. Like going to the bathroom.

• Dave : Here Bill I want you to put one of these on your back.

  [Takes a nicotine patch out of a paper bag] 

  Bill : What is it?

  Dave : It's the patch.

  Lisa : Don't you need a prescription for those?

  Dave : Yeah, I went to my doctor this morning and had him prescribe them for me.

  Lisa : But you don't smoke.

  Dave : Yeah, but I told him that I was thinking about starting. You know, I don't think he's a very good doctor.

• Bill : It smells like an ashtray when I pee. Is there anything you can do to help with that?

  Dave : Gosh, I hope not.

• Dave : You know, I'm not sure what exactly it is that caffeine does for you, but I'm pretty sure without it your head caves in.

• Dave : I just didn't realize the Patch had side effects.

  Bill : And I didn't know you're only supposed to wear one at a time.

  Dave : [surprised]  How many did you have on, Bill?

  Bill : Fifteen, sixteen. Had 'em going around my waist like a little belt.

• Dave : Oh - uh, Mr. James; I didn't see you come in.

  Jimmy : Yeah - well, that's the way I like it. I'm like, uh, that magician guy - what's his name?

  Dave : Uh, David Copperfield?

  Jimmy : No.

  Dave : Siegfried?

  Jimmy : Uh-uh.

  Dave : Roy?

  Jimmy : That's the one.

• Dave : Hey, Bill - I'm your friend.

  Bill : Yeah? Where were you last night around 3 A.M. when I was watching Steel Magnolias and cryin' my eyes out?