NCIS (TV Series)
Under Covers (2005)
Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo
Photos
Quotes
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Tony DiNozzo : [while pretending to be lovers] Sweetheart, you know what I could use right now?
Ziva David : Deodorant?
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Maya : Maybe, after this is all over, we could go for a drink.
Tony DiNozzo : Yeah...
Ziva David : [entering] Tony, I'm pregnant.
Maya : Uh, some other time, perhaps.
Tony DiNozzo : Thanks.
[Maya leaves in a huff]
Ziva David : She's not your type, anyway.
Tony DiNozzo : Hot and in a maid's outfit. They don't get any more my type.
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Tony DiNozzo : [after everyone enters to rescue him] I want a divorce!
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Timothy McGee : [whispering to Tony in the hotel room] If you whisper it should be okay.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : [from headquarters with Jenny] Comfortable, DiNozzo?
Tony DiNozzo : Well, yeah. Workin' on it. Why do you ask?
Jenny Shepard : We're looking at you Agent DiNozzo. *All* of you.
Tony DiNozzo : [embarassed] Uh, sorry.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : DiNozzo! What the hell are you going? You're *married* assassins, you're not visiting the Playboy mansion.
Tony DiNozzo : It was kind of Ziva's idea, boss.
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Tony DiNozzo : I'm just trying to imagine you pregnant.
Ziva David : Don't!
Tony DiNozzo : I have to. I'm gonna be a father. It's a great responsibility.
Ziva David : Maybe it's not yours.
Tony DiNozzo : Maybe she didn't know.
Ziva David : Oh, she knew.
Tony DiNozzo : So why take this contract? Put our unborn child in danger?
Ziva David : Perhaps we needed the money.
Tony DiNozzo : Kids are expensive...
Ziva David : And bullets are cheap.
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[undercover as married asssasins, Ziva is giving Tony a back rub]
Tony DiNozzo : [moaning pleasureably] Oh... oh... and to think, my mother thought I was too good for you.
[She pinches his nerve, hard]
Tony DiNozzo : Ow... ow!
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Tony DiNozzo : [kept awake by Ziva's snoring, mutters] Crazy chick...
Ziva David : [sleepily] I heard that, my little Hairy Butt.
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Tony DiNozzo : The Raniers obviously stole something they want, you're going to give it to them.
Ziva David : We don't have it!
Tony DiNozzo : You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room and offer to show them. McGee should be waiting there with backup.
Ziva David : Good plan, except for one minor drawback.
Tony DiNozzo : What?
Ziva David : When I leave, they'll most likely put a bullet through your head.
Tony DiNozzo : Oh... well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan.
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Tony DiNozzo : Ow, what was that for?
Ziva David : Because *that* is definitely not your knee.
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Tony DiNozzo : You haven't fired your gun. Why are you cleaning it again?
Ziva David : It keeps me calm. Helps to keep my mind on the job in my hand.
Tony DiNozzo : The phrase is "the job at hand".
Ziva David : Same difference.
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[to Tony, who is fast asleep]
Ziva David : [French accent] Jean-Paul... my little furry bear?
[pours water in his ear]
Ziva David : Wake up...
Tony DiNozzo : [leaps to his feet in his underwear] I'm in position, Boss!
Tony DiNozzo : Whoa...