Years ago, MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) was the best TV show out there. And the concept was simple enough: A guy and two robots are stranded on a satellite and forced to watch terrible movies. Their solution? To riff on the cinematic train wrecks with comedic gusto. Something we've all done... admit it, you know who you are! SIDEHACKERS (AKA: FIVE THE HARD WAY) was a break from their usual sci-fi/ horror fodder. But it's no less bizarre. In the late 60s, biker movies were all the rage. Also in the late 60s, and continuing into the late 70s, there was a sub-genre called "Rough Justice". In these films, the anti-hero, a solitary character, was wronged by a group of ruffians. And so, the anti-hero would hunt down said ruffians and kill them in some morally questionable ways. For instance, think of: DEATH WISH, THE HILLS HAVE EYES, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. Just to name a few. In SIDEHACKERS, stuntman-turned-actor Ross Hagen plays Rommel, a biker who competes in sidehacking. Basically, a race involving two people on one bike. He's engaged to Rita. And their love is pure and free, as evidenced by the syrupy sweet music. But wouldn't ya know, Rommel gets on the wrong side of JC (Michael Pataki, in his most psychotic role). He winds up getting badly beaten. But Rita is killed. Now, Rommel wants vengeance. He calls on several lowlifes to help carry out his revenge. Acting is, on the whole, good. Hagen, though, isn't much of an actor. There are some truly excruciating moments, like the dumb hick's rendition of the old "some can tell a joke, and some can't" joke. And the ending is a bleak cop out. My main complaint is with the misleading titles. Where's all the bike racing that the title "Sidehackers" would suggest? And what the heck does "Five The Hard Way" even mean? It sounds like the punchline to a dirty limerick. To the MST3K version, I give it 8 stars. On its on, the film earns a whopping 4.
4 Reviews
No hacks here
TheCloser1722 January 2019
Definitely a top notch MST3K. A movie about side hackers (do they actually still do this?!?!) that thankfully didn't have much side hacking in it. The one liners are fast and furious in this one. Not even many lulls in the laughs. The host segments are very good as well. Overall a great episode, definitely worth the watch.
"Shot with a tomato gun"
ericstevenson26 February 2017
Well people I believe I first heard of this wonderful TV show fifteen or years ago and I've been trying to track down every single episode and now I've finally achieved my goal! Well okay, there are still technically a few I haven't seen because I can't find them at all or it's a movie I already saw or they're episodes of shows, but you get the idea. With the show finally returning, I'll be happy to go back to reviewing these episodes soon. It has been so fun watching a seemingly neverending series of episodes with still more coming out. I doubt I'll ever see any more old episodes. It has been so fun while it lasted.
This episode is great as always, especially with everyone singing at the end. This actually was a pretty depressing movie because it was boring had nothing to do with anything. It seemed like Cambot may have been more active in this than any other episode! Apart from all the stuff that happened out of the theater, we actually get to see him (it?) make a joke. During the film, Cambot shows a scoreboard joking about the film. I can't think of any other direct way Cambot riffed.
There were too many great lines to count. I really liked it when the movie said, "How come no one laughed?" with the joke, "Maybe because it wasn't funny." I'm such a big Hall and Oates fan that I couldn't help but love when the film said, "She's gone" with the riff, "I'd pay the Devil to replace her". I also really liked, "No newcomer to this new sport?" and, "Isn't that an oxymoron?". A great one shot one was, "Next thing, you'll be throwing money at food and clothing!". Until the show finally makes some new episodes, see you all next time! ****
This episode is great as always, especially with everyone singing at the end. This actually was a pretty depressing movie because it was boring had nothing to do with anything. It seemed like Cambot may have been more active in this than any other episode! Apart from all the stuff that happened out of the theater, we actually get to see him (it?) make a joke. During the film, Cambot shows a scoreboard joking about the film. I can't think of any other direct way Cambot riffed.
There were too many great lines to count. I really liked it when the movie said, "How come no one laughed?" with the joke, "Maybe because it wasn't funny." I'm such a big Hall and Oates fan that I couldn't help but love when the film said, "She's gone" with the riff, "I'd pay the Devil to replace her". I also really liked, "No newcomer to this new sport?" and, "Isn't that an oxymoron?". A great one shot one was, "Next thing, you'll be throwing money at food and clothing!". Until the show finally makes some new episodes, see you all next time! ****
Not just terrible but loathsome
skinnybert6 December 2020
To be fair, the criteria for MST3K fodder necessarily means bad films ... but there's a big difference between films which fail, and those which fail in entertainment but succeed in being pointlessly violent and depressing. This one isn't too bad for the first third or so, then it's all downhill, except to watch people pointlessly suffer. It's no surprise to hear Joel complain at the end.
The first third contains almost all the riffs praised by other reviewers (like the Cambot riff). After that, I'd skip to the host segments (noting that one is specifically a parody of the movie scene which directly precedes it, so it's worth rewinding a bit to see).
The first third contains almost all the riffs praised by other reviewers (like the Cambot riff). After that, I'd skip to the host segments (noting that one is specifically a parody of the movie scene which directly precedes it, so it's worth rewinding a bit to see).
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
