Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Gamera (1991)

Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester

Quotes 

• Crow T. Robot : [impersonating Gamera who is eyeing Kenny]  Those kids at school, they tease you, Kenny, because they've never tasted Hell. Today, we turn the tables.

• Dr. Clayton Forrester : Your experiment this week, Joel, is the first in the famous Gamera turtle movies. It's a love story about a giant turtle and downtown Tokyo.

• [Kenny searches for his missing pet turtle Tibby] 

  Crow T. Robot : How does he expect Tibby to signal him, light up a flare?

• Joel Robinson : What is it that you hate so much about Kenny?

  Crow T. Robot : Oh, he's a child of priviledge and the whole world revolves around him and stuff and he can walk into a restricted maximum security military situation and they treat him like an adult just because he befriended a stupid old turtle.

  Tom Servo : Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he never gets into trouble even though his friendship with Gamera is causing the death of *millions*. And he skips school whenever he wants to. And he never so much as gets sent to his room.

• Crow T. Robot : Well, why do you go about stomping on cities and stuff?

  Gamera : Well, it-it's not my fault. Listen, I'm big boned, right? And let's face it, cities discriminate against us big boned types, okay?

• Tom Servo : So what's the deal with that boy, Kenny? You guys seem to be such chums.

  Gamera : Kenny. Kenny. Kenny, Kenny. Little Sweet Kenny. The deal with Kenny is he's a good kid, good hearted. Don't get me wrong, but uh... I'm using him, you know? 'Cause, let's face it, he softens up my image. You know, right? Kenny, cause...

  Crow T. Robot : Well, I... Uh.

  Gamera : Well look, I can smash a huge city, take out thousands of people, right? Say a suburb of Osaki - kill ten million - and then, uh, you know with Kenny at my side, I look like Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. It's great. Let me tell you something about that unconditional love, children. It feels really good.

• Pilot : What is your name? What is your designation?

  Crow T. Robot : Are you known for your work in the theater?

  [the dark plane fires two missiles out of its back] 

  Joel Robinson : Uh, you lost your muffler!

  [the American plane fires all six of its missiles] 

  Joel Robinson : Just a couple.

  [the dark plane explodes] 

  Tom Servo : And that's just a warning!

• Crow T. Robot : [singing]  Tippi...

  Tom Servo : It's Tibby! Tibby!

  Crow T. Robot : Sorry.

  Crow T. Robot : [singing]  I love you, my fine little fella. / Even though you gave the whole family salmonella...

  Tom Servo : NO! NO! That's not their fault!

• [Last lines] 

  Joel Robinson : So, what do you think, sirs? And thanks for not sending us such a bad movie this time.

  Dr. Clayton Forrester : What do you mean "thank you"?

  [groans] 

  Dr. Clayton Forrester : Frank, file this and give Joel a shock to the shammies.

  Frank : I live to serve you, my master.

  [we cut to black] 

  Joel Robinson : No! Not a shock to the shamm-e-ies!

• Crow T. Robot : Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?