- Nick: Is this lasagne or fish?
- Michael Harper: What does it smell like?
- Nick: [Sniffs] Fish.
- Michael Harper: Then it's lasagne.
- Michael Harper: Nick, what's dad's best quality?
- Nick: [Thinks] His feet.
- Michael Harper: Forget I asked.
- Nick: Have you seen his feet? They're exquisite!
- Michael Harper: Mum?
- Susan: Hmm?
- Michael Harper: Erm... what do you reckon Dad's best quality is?
- Susan: Me.
- Michael Harper: Other than you.
- Susan: No. That's it.
- Andy Welling: Can I help you?
- Ben: Yes. My name is Ben Harper. Your newspaper recently listed me as deceased.
- Andy Welling: And the problem is?