My Family (TV Series)

Return of the Prodigal Prat (2003)

Robert Lindsay: Ben Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [about Susan's mother] 

  Ben : What did Batwoman want?

• Ben : How did a day of TLC suddenly turn into a weekend of DIY?

  Susan : PMT.

• Susan : The baby will need a place to stay when Janey comes to visit.

  Ben : What's wrong with the laundry basket?

• Susan : Well, I have a surprise for you.

  Ben : Is it a good surprise or a bad surprise?

  Susan : Yes.

• [first lines] 

  Susan : Don't forget. Next weekend's the Thomas's dinner party.

  Ben : Yeah, you've been reminding me for a month.

  Susan : Because I don't want you to wriggle out of it.

  Ben : What's the point in living if you can't wriggle?

• Nick : You have made a will?

  Ben : I have made a will, yeah. It consists of two words; second word is 'you'.

• Ben : Maybe the newspaper was right. Maybe I am dead and nothing I do affects the physical world.

  Susan : That explains Thursday night.

  Ben : I wasn't dead then; I was just tired.

  Susan : Whatever.

• Nick : So, that's it, then? You're just kicking me out?

  Ben : No, not just. I did it months ago.

  Nick : Why don't you just kick Michael out? He's the black sheep!

  Nick : You're all black sheep!

• Susan : [about Mr Gleeson]  He just said he would be glad to help with any chores around the house now that you're gone.

  Ben : What? You did tell him I'm alive?

  Susan : I'm keeping my options open.

• Andy Welling : Can I help you?

  Ben : Yes. My name is Ben Harper. Your newspaper recently listed me as deceased.

  Andy Welling : And the problem is?