- Rowlf the Dog: [to Nigel as he plays the show's theme on his piano] Well, you must admit, Nigel, this does sound a little square.
- Nigel: Play, hound, play.
- Fozzie Bear: Hey, have you heard the one about this very fat pig?
- Miss Piggy: [angrily] Have you heard the one about this very FLAT bear? Hiii-ya!
- [she karate-chops him]
- Kermit the Frog: I'd like a warm thank you to our special guest star Miss Kaye Ballard! Yay!
- Kaye Ballard: Kermit, thank you. I love you. I really do. I love all of you. Wait a minute, I take that back. There's one exception. I'm, uh, I'm not too sure about Miss Piggy because I think she's very hoggy.
- Miss Piggy: [suddenly appears] Hoggy? Hoggy THIS! Hiii-ya!
- [Piggy karate-chops Kaye and they start fighting]