- Grandpa: [about the mysterious ticking package] It's probably from Uncle Boris. You know, he and Rasputin always used to exchange bombs at Christmas time.
- Herman Munster: [pointing at Grandpa] He's the man who did it. There's your man, right there. I was just a poor, dumb tool in the hands of this Svengali.
- Grandpa: I say!
- Herman Munster: [solemnly holds up his hand] I have never seen this man before in my life!
- Grandpa: When I turn it on now, You'll have more hair on your head than the barbershop floor.
- Herman Munster: Yeah?
- Grandpa: Yeah!
- Dorothea Harkness: [Crying after her and her mother's bald appearances] Mother, you looked like a plucked chicken!
- Mrs. Harkness: Don't tell me what I look like you, gruesome little brat!