- Lily Munster: [finding Big Louie in her bed] Grandpa! There's someone sleeping in my bed! Who is it?
- Grandpa: It sure ain't Goldilocks!
- Grandpa: Don't worry Lily, why, when I was younger in the old country, I was always disappearing in the middle of the night. 'Course that was before I got rheumatism in my wings.
- Lily Munster: Grandpa, how old is Herman, I keep forgetting?
- Grandpa: Well, they started working on 'em right after the war of 1812. They ran into a... shortage of parts at the medical school... I'd say they sewed up the job around 1850.
- Police Sergeant: [on the phone] Eyes?
- Lily Munster: [on the other end] Two. There wasn't room for any more.
- Police Sergeant: I mean what color.
- Police Sergeant: Oh, oh, well, one's brown, and one's chartruese. They thought it would match his complexion.
- Marilyn Munster: Oh Eddie, we should have left you at home in bed.
- Eddie Munster: What for? You know I can't go to sleep till it's light out.
- Grandpa: Now, Lily, don't get upset until you've seen him. After all, you know that the police have been mistaken about Herman before.
- Lily Munster: I suppose you're right, Grandpa. Last time he fell asleep in the park, we had to pick him up at the mortuary.