"Monty Python's Flying Circus" Royal Episode Thirteen (TV Episode 1970) - Michael Palin as Third Miner, Newsreader, Scot, Hospital Patient, First Sailor, Various

Second Sailor : What's the matter with Johnson, sir?

First Sailor : Well, he's not kosher...

Third Sailor : Depends how we kill him, sir.

First Sailor : Yes yes, I see that, but um, well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.

Second Sailor : Oh well, alright!

Third Sailor : Nah, I still prefer to eat Johnson.

Fifth Sailor : I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.

Second Sailor : Look, I tell you what, why don't those of us who want to, eat Johnson, then you sir can eat my leg, and then we can make some of the Captain, and then after that we can eat the rest of Johnson for supper.

First Sailor : Good thinking, Hodges.

Fourth Sailor : And we can finish off with the peaches.

[holds up a can]

Third Sailor : And we can start off with the Avocados.

[holding up ripe avocados]

First Sailor : Oh waitress.

[waitress appears outside the boat]

First Sailor : Waitress, we've decided now. We're going to have...
Newsreader : Still no settlement in the coal mine dispute at Llanddarog. Miners refused to work until the management define a metope. Meanwhile, at Dagenham the unofficial strike committee at Fords have increased their demands to thirteen reasons why Henry III was a bad king. And finally, in the disgusting objects international at Wembley tonight, England beat Spain by a plate of braised pus to a putrid heron. And now, the Toad Elevating Moment.

Michael Palin: Third Miner, Newsreader, Scot, Hospital Patient, First Sailor, Various