Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and the Red-Headed Stranger (2002)

Randy Thomas: Streaker

Quotes 

• Police spokesman : As you know, Willie Hugh Nelson was arrested at 10:15 last night. He will be indicted in Judge Hackman's courtroom tomorrow. Captain Stottlemeyer was the arresting officer and will be happy to answer any of your questions. Captain.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Thank you, Jeff. First of all, I would like to thank the members of my department who have been investigating this case. They've done an outstanding job.

  Reporter #1 : Captain, how strong is your case against Willie Nelson? We would not have authorized this arrest unless we were certain that we have all the facts for the district attorney to successfully prosecute this case.

  [the same streaker from before runs by] 

  Reporter #1 : Oh! Get a shot of that.

  Streaker : Hey, hi!

  [Stottlemeyer turns and whispers to Randy] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : For the love of-I want him. Go, go! Get him!

  [Randy and the other cops take off after the streaker. Stottlemeyer turns back to the cameras and fakes a laugh] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : San Francisco. You gotta love it.

  [the streaker keeps on running, with the police hot on his trail] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : We're on foot, heading south towards Prospect.

  Police Dispatcher : Is there a description?

  Lt. Randall Disher : He's wearing gray sneakers.

  Police Dispatcher : Is there anything else?

  Lt. Randall Disher : He's not Jewish!

  Streaker : Come on!

  [He passes a homeless man] 

  Streaker : Excuse me. Oh, yeah. Good boys.

  [a police car blocks the streaker's way] 

  Uniform Cop #1 : All right, hold it right there! Stop! Stop! Stay where you are. All right, we got him.

  [They handcuff the streaker, and Randy speaks on the radio] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : Streaker in custody.

• [Stottlemeyer speaks at a press conference] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : This investigation is open and ongoing. We have at least one witness, and there is some physical evidence, which is being analyzed as we speak.

  Reporter #1 : Captain, is Willie Nelson a suspect?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : We haven't ruled out anybody as of yet. That's all I can say.

  Reporter #2 : Has Mr. Nelson made a statement?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Mr. Nelson has been very cooperative. He's agreed to stay in town and remain available to us at our discretion. Now, I-I wanna stress this again. We have not accused or charged anyone of this crime.

  [a streaker runs by behind them] 

  Streaker : Whoo-hoo!

  [the reporters laugh and applause. The streaker runs away, but slips and falls on the ground] 

  Streaker : Whoo!

  [the reporters walk over to him] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What the hell was that?

  Lt. Randall Disher : That was a streaker, sir.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What is this, 1974?

  [Reporters take pictures of the runaway streaker] 

  Streaker : Oh, yeah!

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [chuckles]  Well, if there are no further questions-We'll be going. Thank you.