Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum (2002)

Ken Cheeseman: Manny

Quotes 

• Manny : There have been over four-hundred documented sightings of Saint Nicholas. Scientifically documented. It's on the Internet, so you know it's true.

• [Monk and Manny see Dr. Lancaster in a Santa suit heading for the chimney] 

  Adrian Monk : I knew it.

  Manny : Well, what's he doing?

  Adrian Monk : He's going fishing.

  [Dr. Lancaster lowers a fishing line from his office down the chimney] 

  Manny : For what?

  Adrian Monk : The gun, Manny. He has to find it before the construction crew stumbles onto it. Then he'll get rid of it for good, and I'll never be able to prove any of this.

  Manny : I love you, Santa!

  [opens the window] 

  Adrian Monk : Manny.

  Manny : Oh!

  Adrian Monk : Manny. Manny, no. No.

  [He stops Manny from crawling out the window] 

  Adrian Monk : No. No. Stay here. I need you to take pictures.

  [Monk crawls out instead] 

  Manny : I don't understand what he's doing.

  Adrian Monk : [to himself]  Don't look down. Don't look down.

  [He turns to Santa] 

  Adrian Monk : How's the fishing, Doctor?

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Monk. How did you get up here?

  Manny : Santa Claus!

  [takes a picture] 

  Adrian Monk : This is why you put Manny in that room, 'cause you knew you could spend all night up here and nobody would ever believe he really did see Santa Claus.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Nobody but you, Monk, and who's gonna believe you? You're clinically insane, remember?

  Adrian Monk : We'll find the gun, Doctor, right where you dropped it. And that's all the proof I'll need.

  [the scene changes to a flashback of Dr. Lancaster hiding in the medical supply room] 

  Adrian Monk : [voiceover]  You couldn't stand it. The board of directors gave your job to Dr. Gould. You killed him.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Dr. Gould?

  [Dr. Gould turns around, and Dr. Lancaster quickly draws out his gun and shoots Dr. Gould three times. The doctor falls to the floor, dead. Cuts to Dr. Lancaster taking drugs out of the cabinet] 

  Adrian Monk : [voiceover]  You stole some drugs to make it look like a patient did it.

  [We see him leading Bill LaFrankie into the woods] 

  Adrian Monk : You needed a fall guy. LaFrankie fit the bill. You probably got LaFrankie all doped up, then lured him into the woods where the cops found him the next day. You only had one problem: the murder weapon. It was registered in your name.

  [Dr. Lancaster drops the gun down the chimney] 

  Adrian Monk : You had to get rid of the gun before the cops showed up. And you found the perfect place to hide it.

  [Flashback ends] 

  Manny : Hey! You can't talk to Santa Claus like that.

  Adrian Monk : Manny.

  [Manny slips] 

  Adrian Monk : Manny!

  Manny : Santa! Help me!

  [Dr. Lancaster finds the gun] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Well, well, well. What have we here?

  [Monk tries to keep Manny from falling] 

  Manny : Wait a minute. You're not really Santa Claus.

  [Dr. Lancaster points the gun at Monk] 

  Manny : Monk, be careful! He's not really Santa Claus.

  [Dr. Lancaster pulls the trigger, but much to his shock, nothing happens] 

  Adrian Monk : Gun's been lodged in that chimney for four years. I'm guessing the chamber and the metal firing pin are completely oxidized.

• Dr. Moris Lancaster : Remember, this is supposed to be a self portrait. How do you feel about yourself? Look deep inside. There's no right or wrong.

  [looks over one patient's work] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Very good. I love those eyes.

  Adrian Monk : Excuse me, Doctor. Is there a sink nearby?

  [Janie sighs] 

  Adrian Monk : I-I-I need to wash up.

  Janie : Will you shut him up! He has been whining since he walked in here. It's too hot. It's too cold. I have charcoal on my hands!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Jane, what did we talk about yesterday?

  Janie : Controlling the urge to lash out.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Do you have something you wanna say to Mr. Monk?

  Janie : [sighs]  Sorry.

  Adrian Monk : That's okay. I do have a little charcoal on my hands.

  Manny : Dr. Lancaster, guess what I'm painting!

  Everyone : Santa Claus!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : All right, all right.

  [He looks at Manny's work] 

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Huh. Well, you know this is supposed to be a self-portrait.

  [We see that Manny has painted a HUGE Santa Claus, with a tiny boy at his feet] 

  Manny : [points to the little boy]  That's me.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Hmm. Why are you so small?

  Manny : Everybody's small compared to Santa.

  [Janie turns to Monk] 

  Janie : He actually sits up every night and waits for him.

  Manny : I have a feeling he's on his way. It's definitely getting colder outside.

  Janie : It's August, whackjob!

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : It's all right. Back to work. Come on. Come on. Go ahead. Go ahead.

• Adrian Monk : I went to the Stop & Shop, but instead of walking home up Divisadero Street, I-I turned left, and I walked down Trudy's old street to her house. Door was open, so I walked in.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : And how did you feel being in the house again?

  Adrian Monk : Content. Not a care in the world.

  John Wurster : Adrian, when did this urge begin to manifest itself?

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : John, I'll run the therapy session today, okay?

  John Wurster : Fair enough.

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : And later, you and I can talk privately.

  John Wurster : About Monk?

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : No, about your tendency to overempathize.

  John Wurster : I feel like I'm back in medical school again.

  Manny : Dr. Lancaster, can I go next?

  Dr. Moris Lancaster : Just a minute. Just a minute, okay? Go ahead.

  Adrian Monk : I, uh, I really feel sorry for the Haskells.

  John Wurster : Who are the Haskells?

  Adrian Monk : The couple that live in the house. Nick and Josie. Sweet people, and uh, I-

  [turns to Janie] 

  Adrian Monk : -My wife had a necklace exactly like that.