Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Goes to Jail (2004)

Danny Trejo: Spyder Rudner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Adrian Monk : Spyder! You saved my life. Thank you.

  Spyder Rudner : I'm up for parole in about 50 years. If you're still around, why don't you come back and tell them all about it?

  Adrian Monk : I will.

• [Spyder enters the prison laundry, where Lody and his neo-Nazis are about to kill Monk] 

  Spyder Rudner : All right, Adolf! Let him go.

  Lody : It's not about you, Spyder!

  Spyder Rudner : The guy's a friend of mine.

  Lody : He's a cop!

  Spyder Rudner : Yeah, so I've heard. Let him go.

  Lody : You'd side with a cop over us?

  Spyder Rudner : I'd side with a cucaracha over you.

• Spyder Rudner : What are you in here for?

  Adrian Monk : Embezzlement. I'm doing a nickel. That's prison talk for five years,

  Spyder Rudner : No, it's not.

  Adrian Monk : [improvising]  It was in Lompoc. I was there for a while, but I got moved 'cause I was too much of a bad... ass.

  Spyder Rudner : [amused]  Really?

• [Monk finds out which of the inmates stole Spyder's watch] 

  Adrian Monk : It was a few minutes off, I reset it for you.

  Spyder Rudner : I'll take care of them later. That was pretty impressive! How'd you know it was him?

  Adrian Monk : Well, I figured whoever stole your watch would have their sleeves rolled down so you wouldn't see it. There were only four guys in the whole yard with their sleeves rolled down, and he was the tallest one.

  Spyder Rudner : Why tall?

  Adrian Monk : The shelf in your cell was four feet from the bars. He's the only one who could reach it.

  Spyder Rudner : [grins]  You're pretty sharp.

• Spyder Rudner : What happened to my bed?

  Adrian Monk : I made it.

  Spyder Rudner : Have you been touching my stuff?

  Adrian Monk : No... maybe a little. The sheets were all...

  Spyder Rudner : You are a dead man! I am gonna gut you like a fish!

  [He starts looking under the mattress] 

  Adrian Monk : Are you looking for your shiv?

  [Spyder stops and glares] 

  Adrian Monk : [lowers voice]  Are you looking for your shiv? It's in the book. In the binding, it's a much better hiding place.

  [Spyder grabs the shiv and starts to menace Monk, but stops] 

  Spyder Rudner : What'd you do to it?

  Adrian Monk : I re-taped it. I also sharpened it a little.