Married... with Children (TV Series)

You Better Shop Around: Part 2 (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Can I have a "Whoa Bundy."?

  The Bundy's : Whooooooooa Bundy.

• [Al and Peg are competing with Marcy and Jefferson for a shopping spree] 

  Jefferson : Drop dead!

  Peggy : Lick feet!

  Marcy : Eat dust!

  Al : Grow hair!

• Al : [Jefferson reaches for a box but Al stops him]  That's my douche!

  Jefferson : Oh yeah? Well you touched my girlie fizz.

  [Al tries to grab the box] 

  Jefferson : Damn it, Al, now we're both men. There's enough in feminine hygene for the both of us.

• The Beaver : Ladies and gentlemen, it's certainly a pleasure to be here at Foodies, the store with great food, and super-low prices...

  [breaks down] 

  The Beaver : Oh, merciful heavens, won't somebody please shoot me! Somebody, please, just put a bullet through the Old Beav's head!

  Peggy : Oh, Al, look at him. He's brought so much pleasure to so many. Can't you get him a job at the shoe store?

  Al : That's all I need, Peg. Work all day with the Beaver and come home to you.

• [Peggy is racing down an aisle with the supermarket cart with the plastic bull's head and butcher knifes as fake horns on the front of the cart at full speed unknowingly right towards Al] 

  Peggy : Hold on, Al! I'm coming!

  Al : No, stop Peg! The contest is over! It's over! We did it! We won!

  [Peggy, not hearing Al, continues running right towards him as Al sees the knifes on the front of the cart about to hit him] 

  Al : [beat; accepting his fate]  Oh well... I married her.

  [Al gets impaled by the knifes on the cart] 

• Al : The only thing wrong with my checks is they're post-dated, like your milk.

• Peggy : What if we really do win that $1000 worth of groceries? Then what do we do?

  Al : Well Peg, I saw on 60 Minutes where some people found with food actually cook it up and eat it. I've never seen Morley so shaken.

  Peggy : So I was right. I'm not the winner in this at all. You get all the food and the glory, and I just get endless hours standing in front of the big hot thing.

  Al : No Peg, that's the stove. You're the big hot thing.