Married... with Children (TV Series)

What Goes Around Came Around (1990)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : [holding up an egg]  This is your brains. This is your brain on marriage.

  [slams the egg on the floor] 

  Al Bundy : Any questions?

• Bud Bundy : Dad, when you were in school, did a girl ever do something to you, something so rotter that it actually ruined your whole life.

  Al Bundy : Yes, and you call that girl "Mom" now.

• Al Bundy : Son, let me tell you something about revenge. Now, this is something that you're going to have to learn before you can truly call yourself a man. Revenge... is great. It's phenomenal. It's the only thing that separates us from the animals. It's why I stay with your mother. Now, son, if you have a chance to get back at a girl who has wronged you... do it. Do it now, do it good, do it twice. There'll be many women in your life, son, but the one you got revenge on will always be the sweetest of them all.

• Al Bundy : Sure, before you marry them, all women say they like football. But as soon as you say "I do", they put on about 40 pounds. And the only "hike" you see is them hiking up their pants before they weld their butts to the sofa for the rest of their worthless lives! As for me... I work for a living!

• Al Bundy : And you want to talk about flying wenches? Let's talk about my mother-in-law. My mother in law is so big and fat that... well, people often overuse the phrase "as big as the Earth". But kids, try to imagine everyone you know under one giant muumuu.