Married... with Children (TV Series)

Something Larry This Way Comes (1995)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Quotes 

• Kelly Bundy : Oh, Mom. I am so excited. I mean, just imagine, me and Larry Storch on the stage together. Tonight, I become a lesbian.

  Peggy Bundy : I think you mean a thespian, dear.

  Bud Bundy : Yeah, well, the reviews aren't in yet.

• Peggy Bundy : And I thought that theater was dead.

  Larry Storch : No, no, it just smells that way.

• Peggy Bundy : [everyone hears a car chugging and sputtering up to the house]  Oh, there's your father and his Dodge.

  Bud Bundy : [looks out the front door]  No, no, that's Larry Storch and HIS Dodge.

• Peggy Bundy : [on the phone]  Uh, hello. Shop-at-Home Network? Yeah, I'd like to order your NYPD Blue naked-butt salt and pepper shakers.

  Bud Bundy : Mom, don't you think you should wait until Dad actually gets the raise before you spend it all?

  Peggy Bundy : Bud, if I waited to have things 'til your father could afford them, YOU'D still be on layaway.

• Al Bundy : Now, Peg, since you were the one who badgered me to ask Gary about the raise, let's hear some of your ideas to keep the cash flow coming into the house.

  [Peggy is silent, unable to think of anything] 

  Al Bundy : Duh? Well, I'll take that under advisement. But, as usual, I have a plan.

  Bud Bundy : Good. Just as long as it's not one of those stupid Midnight Madness sales. You know, where the employees dress up in those ridiculous costumes that have nothing to do with what they're selling.

  [Al lowers his head in shame while Peggy laughs] 

  Peggy Bundy : Oh! Bud, your father would never do something stupid like that. So, Al, what's your idea?

  [Al angrily looks at Peggy and Bud] 

  Al Bundy : I'm not telling ya!

• Kelly Bundy : Hey, Mom, Bud, listen. I have been named student of the month at the Larry Storch School of Acting!

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, honey, I couldn't be more proud of you. Ha ha ha.

  [to Bud] 

  Peggy Bundy : Who's Larry Storch?

  Bud Bundy : He played Corporal Agarn on the TV show F Troop.

  Peggy Bundy : Was he the one with the big...?

  Bud Bundy : No, no, no. That was Forrest Tucker.

• Peggy Bundy : What is the big fuss about this Corporal Eggroll guy?

  Al Bundy : Corporal Agarn, you blasphemous heathen! See, you don't understand the genius of the man. See, in F Troop, when one of the idiots in his regiment would make him mad, he'd go walking over to him, like only he could walk, and give him a good whack on the head with his hat! You just don't see that anymore.

  Peggy Bundy : There's a lot of things I don't see anymore.

  Al Bundy : Especially if they're more than 100 feet from the couch.

• Kelly Bundy : Um, this is my mom, Peggy.

  Larry Storch : How do you do?

  Peggy Bundy : How do you do, Mr. Storch? I just loved you in, uh, D Cup.

  Larry Storch : That's F Troop.

• Larry Storch : [about Al]  So when's the old shoe slinger coming home?

  Peggy Bundy : Well, you see, he's having this madness sale. You know: wolf, night, moon, moron.

• Al Bundy : [on the phone]  Hello?

  Peggy Bundy : Al, it's me. Uh, Larry from G Spot is here.