Married... with Children (TV Series)

She's Having a Baby: Part 1 (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Once my kids leave the house, I'll finally be able to do what every man is supposed to. I can watch TV. I can... well, I don't know but it doesn't matter. It's still better than having a screaming, crapping, money-sucking little vampire bobsledding me to the graveyard. God I feel good.

  Peggy : Honey?

  Al : Yes?

  Peggy : Guess what?

  Al : What?

  Peggy : I'M PREGNANT TOO!

  Marcy : How far along are you?

  Peggy : Five months.

  Al : Five months?

  Peggy : Al, didn't you notice that I was getting fat?

  Al : Well... yeah.

• Jefferson : I'm going to be a father. Don't you have anything to say to me?

  Al : Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're a dead man. It's all over. Today is the first day of the end of your life.

• Peggy : Al, guess what? Marcy is pregnant.

  Al : Well congratulations Marcy, now you can finally be fitted for a bra.

  Marcy : That's right Al, but I don't need to complain to you what it's like to carry around small things.

• Peggy : Al?

  Al : Hmm?

  Peggy : What should we name the baby?

  Al : The Reaper?

• Al : Hey, don't kid yourself, I've got plenty of money saved up...

  [looks at Peg] 

  Al : Whoops. Well, it doesn't matter, you're not getting any. I'm gonna get me a Big Boy Socket Wrench Set. Man, it's gonna be great. I'll around this house and tighten more nuts than you did in high school.

• Marcy : Guess what? We're going to have a new addition to our family.

  Al : Well, shouldn't you be sitting on it, waiting for it to hatch?

• Al : So, we're having a new baby. The gods are on a roll, aren't they? Must've been playing another round of "Can you top this?" One started off, "We'll make him a shoe salesman." Then another said, "We'll give him a red-head." Then another one, probably a cruel, hungover god, said, "But let's have him be a mighty athlete in high school first so his fall will be all the greater."

  Kelly : But the gods showed you they loved you when they gave you us.

  Al : Yeah, give those gods a Miller. Will someone please tell me, how did this happen?