Married... with Children (TV Series)

Rock of Ages (1992)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : [singing]  We are the old. We've got arthritis. Our gums are weak...

  Richie Havens : So weak.

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : From gingivitis.

  John Sebastian : We are the old. We've got arthritis.

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : We are the ones who wear bifocals and have bursitis.

  Spencer Davis : There are people younger, but we heed another call.

  Richie Havens : We really need the money. Our accountants took it all.

  Peter Noone : We sing to you, those who have money. Once we was cool.

  Al Bundy : But now we just dress funny.

  John Sebastian : We need your help. So, please, please dig deep.

  Richie Havens : Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep.

  Robby Krieger : We have Medicare and anti-gas pills.

  Mark Lindsay : But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills.

  Richie Havens : Take it, Axle!

  [Al imitates a harmonica with a sandwich] 

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : We are the old.

  Kelly Bundy , Peggy Bundy , Bud Bundy : They are the old.

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : We have arthritis.

  Kelly Bundy , Peggy Bundy , Bud Bundy : They have arthritis.

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : Once we were gods. Now golf excites us.

  Bud Bundy : Golf excites 'em!

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : So write a check...

  Richie Havens : A really big one!

  Al Bundy , Spencer Davis , Richie Havens , Robby Krieger , Mark Lindsay , Peter Noone , John Sebastian : For our December. There's one more verse, but we can't remember.

• Bud Bundy : Hi, Dad. This is Petal.

  Petal : It's part of a flower.

  Bud Bundy : Isn't she great? I met her in quantum physics. Hold my calls.

  Al Bundy : There never are any, son.

  Bud Bundy : Never mind that now, Dad. See you tomorrow.

  Al Bundy : Uh, young lady. Young lady, you do realize that's my son's bedroom you're going to?

  Petal : Yes. Heh heh.

  [Al throws out his arms, and embraces Bud to congradulate him for his first 'score'] 

• Bud Bundy : How come the winner only gets one ticket?

  Al Bundy : Well otherwise he'd have to take his wife. Where's the incentive there?

• Al Bundy : Axl, Axl Bundy, you know, from Shoes N' Socks, remember? San Francisco 1969.

  John Sebastian : I don't remember too much about 1969.

  Al Bundy : Who does?

• Al Bundy : Any man who can score 4 touchdowns in a single game after a night with your mother is surely capable of new glory.

• Al Bundy : Fratella's in second place, but I can take him. He goes home at night to visit his wife. The sap still loves her. Luckily, I don't have that problem.

• Peggy Bundy : Where's the money, Al?

  Al Bundy : Oh, I got robbed. I was driving home and I drove by the bank, and the street was cordoned off. So I knew I shouldn't get out of the car, but I did, and that's when they jumped me.

  Peggy Bundy : Muggers, Al?

  Al Bundy : Worse. Bankers. Bill collectors, electric-company reps, that wiry little woman from the water company They were all there. They threw me down, forced a pen in my hand and made me pay bills against my will. I felt so violated.