- Steve Rhoades: So, what are you getting Peggy for Valentine's Day? Fur? Jewels? A car?
- Al: If it was only that easy. I'm gonna have sex with her. Yeah, it's kind of a tradition. Every Valentine's Day I climb those stairs, you know, walk the last mile, and slam-dunk her one. It's a spin through hell for me, but she seems to like it.
- Steve Rhoades: I only pray that after 16 years Marcy and I will have that kind of magic between us.
- Al: Steve, if it was magic I could do it from down here in front of the TV!
- Al Bundy: Come on, Peg. What's the big deal? You know I do. I just don't like to say it. It makes me sick.
- Peggy Bundy: Kelly, are you going out walking by construction sites again? 'Cause if you are, give me 5 minutes, I'll put on something cute and join you.