Married... with Children (TV Series)
My Mom, the Mom (1989)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Quotes
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Al Bundy : [gives her money] There you go. That's 20 bucks.
Jade : I'm sorry I had to ask. But would you believe it? Lost my purse.
Al Bundy : Well, let's retrace your steps. Let's go back to your shower this morning. What were you wearing?
Jade : Well, nothing.
Al Bundy : Uh, uh. And what kind of soap were you using?
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Al Bundy : The important thing here is that you learn responsibility. And that your dad here is more than a ready teller who doles out money anytime anybody asks.
[the hot brunette Jade enters]
Jade : Excuse me? Could you be able to spare some cab fare?
Al Bundy : Absolutely. You know, cabs are dangerous these days. Let me get you a limo.
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Al Bundy : Now, you remember that 300 pound behemoth that orbited her way in here about an hour ago?
Bud Bundy : The one with the chicken wings between her giant teeth?
Al Bundy : No, the other one that I sold a pair of flats to. That was a $20 sale. That means a solid $1.97 in commission for me. After taxes, social security and your mom, I just earned myself a cool nickel. You know, I never figured that out before. Other people are making money. A nickel?
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Kelly Bundy : This isn't going to be another one of those "There's only enough food for three" lectures, is it?
Al Bundy : No, it's not that. I want everybody to know that they have a security guard patrolling the wishing well around the mall, so money will be a little tight for a while.
