Married... with Children (TV Series)

Kelly's Gotta Habit (1996)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jefferson : [watching the opening credits of "Married... With Children" on TV]  You believe that show is still on the air?

  Al : It's a classic, I love it. Except for those stupid neighbors.

• Al : Man, I love "Cops". Definitely the best show on Fox. Showing the American justice system at work. Beating the crap out of people before judges let 'em go. Almost makes me want to pay taxes.

  Jefferson : Or vote.

• Al : I'll see you at the Jiggly Room on Saturday.

  Officer Dan : I can't go. I'm on duty.

  Al : What do you mean you can't go? If you're not there, we can't do the strip searches.

• Marcy D'Arcy : I hope you fry.

  Al Bundy : Right back at ya.

  [tases her] 

• Officer Dan : Okay, for your insurance report, we got you down for a bowling shirt, a Maserati, and a Picasso.

  Al : Make that 2 Picassos. Write one down for yourself.

  Officer Dan : Thanks, buddy.