Married... with Children (TV Series)

If I Could See Me Now (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20-20 vision.

• Al Bundy : [looking, for the first time with 20/20 vision, at a photo of his wife, Peg]  What the hell is this?

  Bud : That's mom, dad.

  Al Bundy : [yelling]  Oh this is just too much!

• [Al tests out his new glasses] 

  Al : [looking at cover of "TV Guide"]  Ahhh, there he is bright as day - Raymond Burr.

  Kelly : It's Delta Burke, Daddy.

  Al : Raymond Burr, Delta Burke, city of Seattle. What's the difference?

• Al : It never occurred to anyone here that I read "Bridge Ends Here" just fine and floored it anyway.

• Al : Now, I'm about to go out and partake of some of the beauty which our fair city affords us. If you need me, I'll be at the nudie bar.

• [Al needs glasses, but chickens out at store] 

  Al : I don't wanna be a Poindexter.

  Bud : Relax, dad. Lots of cool people wear glasses.

  Wally : I'm Wally. Please don't want me. I'm married.

  Kelly : Good, then there's hope for my brother.

• [Al has just come home] 

  Al : As God is my witness, I will never drive anyone else in the family any place ever again. All I get from you are complaints. You kids must be nuts, I didn't think that was scary.

  [Bud and Kelly walks in the door with their hair messed up] 

  Bud : Get some glasses, dad!

  Al : For the thousandth time, I do not need glasses. You can ask anyone.

  Kelly : Fine, Buck.

  [Buck the briard comes in with his fur messed up too] 

  Al : I'm telling you I don't need Glasses. My vision was checked in the fourth grade and it's perfect.