Married... with Children (TV Series)

How Do You Spell Revenge? (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Al Bundy : I went to the tattoo parlour. Good news: she didn't get the tattoo.

  Peggy Bundy : I know. She's upstairs. Did you find Jim?

  Al Bundy : Yep. I followed Brian to his house, broke the door down, and I was gonna break Jimmy's head when... she came out of the kitchen. Peg, her face was in a jello mold, and she was wearing a muumuu, but it had to be slit so she could fit into it. And she... Peg, she had no knees! So I let him live. I figured that's the worst thing I could do to him.

  Peggy Bundy : That's my Al.

  Al Bundy : She was horrible, Peg. Horrible!

  [smiles] 

  Al Bundy : You look good, Peg.

  Peggy Bundy : Thanks, Al.

  [He puts his arm around her and they settle onto the couch] 

  Al Bundy : God, she was fat...

• [coming back from their latest softball game] 

  Peggy Bundy : I know, I know. I stink. But it was close!

  Al Bundy : We lost to nuns.

  Peggy Bundy : I have never been so humiliated. In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary Alice: "bless this, honey".

  Al Bundy : Hey, I might not know all the religious gestures, but I recognized the one she gave to me!

• Peggy Bundy : It's only a game.

  Al Bundy : No, it's only a game if you win. But if you lose, It's a stinkin' waste of time.

• Peggy Bundy : At least I hit the ball.

  Al Bundy : Oh great, you finally make a bunt and an 80-year-old man beats you to first base. 'Course he wasn't wearing high heels.

• Al Bundy : Next week, we play the Christian T-shirt shop. Now, they've never won a game because they refuse to steal, but they've never played us.

• Al Bundy : Where's Kelly?

  Peggy Bundy : I don't know, but I think she might be out with Brian.

  Al Bundy : Oh that's great. My daughter is out with the spawn of Norman Bates and Sea Biscuit.