Married... with Children (TV Series)

God Help Ye Merry Bundymen (1996)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : All right, listen. We've got two young, eager boys hanging around us. You know what that makes us?

  Griff : Michael Jackson?

• Al : Oh, what, you wanna rub it in, huh? Well, that's fine. Because firing me was the best thing you could've done. 'Cause I have a better job now, with more responsibility. And a big hat, too. So you can take your shoe store job and shove it because I have something that's even more important. My self respect.

  Gary : You can have your job back.

  Al : [desperately relieved]  Thank you. Thank you.

• [having found out certain similarities between his and Hal's and Griff's lives] 

  Al Bundy : Congratulations, boys, you've peaked. You're gonna slave away in here day in, day out, year in, year out, until one day you'll be close to 50, and you'll be an elf, driving a choo-choo!

  [walks off, laughing] 

• Al Bundy : What kind of job are you doing?

  Griff : I got an executive position in the overnight-delivery business.

  Mall Manager : Hey, Blitzen, get your tail back over to the sled!

  [a raindeer dancer approaches] 

  Reindeer Dancer : [high-pitched voice]  Hi, I'm Prancer.

  Al Bundy : No kidding.

  Reindeer Dancer : [to Griff]  Come on, Blitzen. It's time to get into our harness.

  Al Bundy : What kind of reindeer games you playing over there, Griff?

  Griff : One more crack out of you and I'll kick your curly-toed butt!

• Al Bundy : I thought you said you had money put away.

  Griff : I did, but then I bought a corn dog and a kiddie Coke and there went my nest egg.

• Griff : You sure make one UGLY hobbit.

  Al Bundy : I happen to be the Elfineer!