Married... with Children (TV Series)

Field of Screams (1994)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Quotes 

• Kelly Bundy : Hi, Mom. Bud still have boobs?

  [Peggy nods] 

  Kelly Bundy : Oh, well. Then I guess I'll be sleeping over at Cindy's again tonight.

• Kelly Bundy : Where's Daddy?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, he's been down at city hall at the city council meeting all afternoon. He's really steamed about them paving over his old football field.

  Kelly Bundy : I hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.

  Peggy Bundy : You mean spectacle, honey.

  Kelly Bundy : No. I really mean testicle.

  Peggy Bundy : Well, let's see what's on the news.

  [Peggy switches on the remote control for the TV set] 

  TV Announcer : And on the lighter more pitiful side of the news, self-proclaimed football legend Al Bundy is leading a protest against the Trans-Mexican auto plant by handcuffing himself to a goal post on his old high school playing field. He has vowed to stay chained at this post until the project is moved to another location, or quote: prove to me that Marcy 'the Chicken' D'Arcy has lips.

  Peggy Bundy : What a testicle!

• Bud Bundy : [dismayed]  Come on, Ma, tell the truth.

  [looking down at his man-boobs] 

  Bud Bundy : Do you think these will turn girls off?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, come on, honey. Don't let a little thing like a couple of boobs get you down. It's not like you're permanent. I mean, it's been a whole week and look how much better Buck is getting.

  Buck the Dog : [Buck is now a turkey]  I sure hope this crap wears off before Thanksgiving.

  Bud Bundy : Maybe you're right, Ma. I'll just hide for a while. It's not like I had any plans this week.

  [goes to answer doorbell] 

  Sascha : [in doorway, luscious blonde, with breathy voice]  Hi, Bud.

  [Bud is hiding behind door, mortified] 

  Sascha : It's me, Sascha, the girl you've wanted every day and night of your life since the first grade. Well, I'm about to enter a convent, and I wanted to be with a real man for my first, last, and only time. Take me, Bud! Take me now!

  Bud Bundy : [reaches out from behind door - her luscious body is so near, yet so far - gives up]  You caught me at a bad time. Goodbye.

  Sascha : [gasps a startled little stifled cry of defeat]  Oh!

  Peggy Bundy : [to retreating Bud]  Where are you going?

  Bud Bundy : [plodding up the stairs to his room]  To cop a feel and kill myself.

  Kelly Bundy : [entering]  Hi, Mom. Does Bud still have boobs?

  [Peggy nods] 

  Kelly Bundy : Ah, well, then I'll be sleeping at Cindy's.

• Kelly Bundy : Where's Dad?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, he's down at the City counsel meeting. You know, he's all steamed up about them paving over his football field.

  Kelly Bundy : Ugh, I just hope he doesn't make a testicle out of himself.

  Peggy Bundy : You mean 'spectacle', honey.

  Kelly Bundy : No, I mean, 'testicle'. I'm used to the spectacle thing.