Married... with Children (TV Series)

Driving Mr. Boondy (1994)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Ah, we had a good time. Well, you had a good time. Mine pretty much blew chunks, but, uh... I'd like to remind you, son, while you're figuring out my score, that if I don't get my driver's license that means I can't drive. If I can't drive that means I can't go to work. If I can't go to work that means I'll have to stay home and I'll be home... all the time. Day and night. When you bring your dates over, I will be in my underwear. You know the underwear, don't you, son?

  Bud Bundy : Not the ones that read, "If you lived here, you'd be home now"?

  Al Bundy : And I'll be clipping my toenails and eating Cheez Whiz out of the can. Now, let me ask you, son... HOW DID I DO?

  Bud Bundy : [hands Al a card]  You passed.

  Al Bundy : Oh, goody.

• Bud Bundy : Dad, I need $700.

  Al Bundy : No problem. We'll sell the house. Of course, we'll have to come up with 500 bucks more.

• Al Bundy : Well, I'll have you know I've been driving through the mean streets of Chicago for 30 years in the same mean car with the same mean wife. So go ahead, give me your best shot. Show me the moron who dare not pass me.

  [Bud appears] 

  Bud Bundy : Boondy? Al Boondy.

• Bud Bundy : Look, Mr. Boondy, this is my job and I am merely being a professional civil servant and I've taken an oath. HOOTERS! HOOTERS! STOP THE CAR! PULL OVER! PULL OVER!

  [the car stops, a German Blonde appears] 

  Heidi : Hi. I'm Heidi and I'm from Bavaria. Could you direct me to the Oktoberfest in Milwaukee?

  Al Bundy : [with sarcasm]  Oh, yeah, this could happen.

  Bud Bundy : Get in, Heidi. We just, uh... We just happen to be going that way.

  [Heidi gets in the car] 

  Bud Bundy : By the way, Dad, I'm taking off five more points. You should never pick up hitchhikers.

• Bud Bundy : Have you forgotten that I'm in college?

  Al Bundy : No, son, and I'm proud of you. But if you want money, you should do what a wise man once said: "Yip-yip-yip-yip-yip, mum-mum-mum-mum, get a job."

• Bud Bundy : [to Heidi]  Oh, that's right, baby. Pretend like my pants are France and invade me.

• [Bud is trying to ask Al for money to go to the Oktoberfest in Milwaukee] 

  Bud Bundy : Dad, everybody's going.

  Al Bundy : Everybody's not going. I'm not going, Buck's not going, and you're not going.

  [Buck is seen wearing a hat and a sign that says "Kiss Me. I'm a German Shepherd"] 

  Buck : I don't care what anyone says. I'm going.